![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by your#1fan on February 27, 2008, at 23:55:49
I just............i cant deal with reality right now, i want to switch personalites if had another one.
I have to know that some people here care about me, i have been going the entire day distaught, dissociated because i cant deal what the doctor told me.
When i went to the doctor's office there was poster of VYVANSE all over the place, and then i mentioned it to him. Well i already explined, he legally cannot treat me for ADHD. Which is very sad. My mother had something to do with this, because she did tell him the that she does not approve of a stimulant, but now he cannot even Legally prescribe it to me. This is so, im just want to to kill myself because the amount of calls i have MADE TO HIM of urgency, of my condition, which was ignored, and then i began writing letters of the severity of this issue. I came in, with my hopes up, "im sorry fan, im not legally responsible for your ADHD anymore"
My mother had alot to do with this. She manipulated, even i admit, i did abuse Adderall, over and over again. But she didnt tell me what. Im just staring at the screen rightn now because i know i cant be medically treated for ADHD. He told me "you can do without medication". Listen, i can, but the past to year I have DETERIATED in many forms of routines which he ignored.
I have been through many emotional-anger outbursts, i came in to church crying my freaking eyes out try to find my mother. I made a horrible scene of myself. I do believe i am manic-depressive at this point, because the amount of unstableness i have thought out the day, is not normal. I get very upset, like its normal, "get angry" has what i have been taught.
I need someone to help me, please, i may not respond because i have so much to do, and i have nothing to help me. But maybe someone could encourage me at this point?
fan
Posted by sunnydays on February 28, 2008, at 8:15:32
In reply to Im so upset right now, posted by your#1fan on February 27, 2008, at 23:55:49
Sorry this is so hard for you fan. Can you ask your doctor about non-stimulants to help with mood swings? Things like lithium and lamictal are used to treat bipolar disorder... if that's really what you have. That would be something to ask your doctor about. Stimulants aren't the only option out there, and it sounds like your mjor problem might be your moods right now, not your ADHD.
sunnydays
Posted by polarbear206 on February 28, 2008, at 10:23:49
In reply to Im so upset right now, posted by your#1fan on February 27, 2008, at 23:55:49
> I just............i cant deal with reality right now, i want to switch personalites if had another one.
>
> I have to know that some people here care about me, i have been going the entire day distaught, dissociated because i cant deal what the doctor told me.
>
> When i went to the doctor's office there was poster of VYVANSE all over the place, and then i mentioned it to him. Well i already explined, he legally cannot treat me for ADHD. Which is very sad. My mother had something to do with this, because she did tell him the that she does not approve of a stimulant, but now he cannot even Legally prescribe it to me. This is so, im just want to to kill myself because the amount of calls i have MADE TO HIM of urgency, of my condition, which was ignored, and then i began writing letters of the severity of this issue. I came in, with my hopes up, "im sorry fan, im not legally responsible for your ADHD anymore"
>
> My mother had alot to do with this. She manipulated, even i admit, i did abuse Adderall, over and over again. But she didnt tell me what. Im just staring at the screen rightn now because i know i cant be medically treated for ADHD. He told me "you can do without medication". Listen, i can, but the past to year I have DETERIATED in many forms of routines which he ignored.
>
> I have been through many emotional-anger outbursts, i came in to church crying my freaking eyes out try to find my mother. I made a horrible scene of myself. I do believe i am manic-depressive at this point, because the amount of unstableness i have thought out the day, is not normal. I get very upset, like its normal, "get angry" has what i have been taught.
>
> I need someone to help me, please, i may not respond because i have so much to do, and i have nothing to help me. But maybe someone could encourage me at this point?
>
> fan
If you are bipolar,(which many of us suspect you are) you MUST focus on getting your mood stabilized and forget about stimulants right now. It may be very possible that they are exacerbating your bipolar. Maybe down the road after you are stabilized, it MAY be possible. You are young, and need to come to terms and accept your illness. Be compliant with your medication regime. As I recall, you like your "highs". Keep in mind that your condition can get worse over time if not properly treated. You have been given some good advice here from others who have been around and are very educated. Take it and collaberate with your p-doc and focus your energy on a new approach and treatment plan.PB
Posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 14:58:42
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now, posted by sunnydays on February 28, 2008, at 8:15:32
i swear im typing so fast, to get this done so i can rest!
My ADHD is very bad, but i will admit, im moodier on Stimulants, any stimulant. Mooody moody moody. But i can focus.....
My doctor now has turned on me, "door hit me in the *ss" when i was escorted out. Oh god, why did he treat me like this? there are MANY PEOPLE THAT are taking Adderall, Vyvanse, but they just say "oh i take it focus that it" Im the worst ADHD case in the STATE OF TEXAS! The amount of lack of focus, and lack of thinking, its just gone beyond control.
My life is miserable, well its been misearble since the day i was born....but still.
Thanks....sunny.
your#1fan
Posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 15:07:12
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now » your#1fan, posted by polarbear206 on February 28, 2008, at 10:23:49
Listen, wantta say im sorry for, if i was rude in the past. Im writing a 100miles and hour.
Look, i know im manic-depressive, but its not to the point where i have to get treatment for it, i dont want really to get treatment for it. I admit i do like the high's.
The severity of my problem to focus is out of hand and my doctor treated me worse than a stranger on the street. Like he didint know me, plus he disowned me. He legally cannot treat me because he would be responsible for any episode i had, BUT THE THING IS I HAVE HAD EPISODES and he got with it, when i was not being treated for manic's at night.
I have to tell you for a fact that i am the most worst ADHD cause in the books. I have every, even more symtoms than there are recored down. And im not treated.......this is so sad, for me, and especially for the doctor.
Now there was abuse 3 years ago. There was, nope no doubt about it. There was. But its been, times changed. I could be alot more responsible. "Fan, you cant be trusted" is what he said to me. Thats the flat out thing he said. I argued and said, "NO, I CAN MAKE IT WORK!" , "your not the doctor, and im revoking treatment for you, for ADHD"
This is out there, i gotta go lay down.
Thanks for the advice. Maybe Increase in Zyrpexa? maybe?
fan
Posted by Racer on February 28, 2008, at 16:28:05
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now - polerbear, posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 15:07:12
>
>
> Look, i know im manic-depressive, but its not to the point where i have to get treatment for it, i dont want really to get treatment for it. I admit i do like the high's.
>I honestly think this illustrates a big part of your problem:
You say that you're bipolar. My guess is that you're probably correct about that. Your doctor has not made that diagnosis, as far as I know -- you didn't answer my question about that, by the way. So right now you're not receiving treatment for bipolar.
You say that your bipolar is not to the point it requires treatment. You attribute a lot of your current problems functioning to ADHD. From reading your posts, though, I wonder if perhaps your functioning is suffering due to mania? What you've been describing in your posts sounds remarkably like mania -- either hypo- or full blown.
I'm not a doctor. You're not a doctor. We can't make an official diagnosis, and we certainly can't prescribe medications. I wonder, though, whether treating you for mania might not be a solution to a lot of the functional deficits you've described here in your posts?
I've got a few more things to say, in response to your other posts on this topic, but I'm not sure I have time right now. It may be later tonight.
Good luck. I do care about you, and I hate to see you in so much distress.
Posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2008, at 18:30:03
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now » your#1fan, posted by Racer on February 28, 2008, at 16:28:05
Fan I do agree with above it does sound like a form of mania but we're not docs. Love Phillipa
Posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 20:11:44
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now, posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2008, at 18:30:03
I admit, i have low's during the day where im lethagric and really dont feel like doing anything. Its a real pain because i have prep, and psyche. I hate anything that sedates me really. I have a lazy and a racy mind combined.
Like 1..2..3 lets go! i immidatly put my thoughts in a ordered fashion, so that i can place them on a post.
What i dont want is any thing to get understood here, things i do. I want to know why i do the things i during the day. Call the doctor 15 times in at least month....actaully more than that! stating to him i cannot focus, im losing things, he didnt call me back. Exept sometimes, stating no ADHD with out mother. My mother cares for me, but at the same time, i trapped in a cage. Ready to get out!
The fact my doctor just disowned me, because my mother in fact did state to him about abuse, her main view is she doenst want me on a stimulant period. And she conviced the doctor, i it was a JAWDROP what happened his additute towards me, after the phone calls i made to him over and over again, and the letter i sent him. He disgrarded all of them.
The fact i went into the session with hopes because i thought he would be a good doctor and read, and hear all my phone calls. But it was all overrided "i can not trust you" "you'll have to cope on your own" "im sorry" just devestated me, i said "no" i can take it properly, "you said that before"
These things never ever happened with stimulants, suicdal thoughts, psychosis, ever. Insomnia was the most prominant side effect, that was it, and i admit i would blow up really bad when my mother would scream at me. I would just let her have it. Thats what happened. My doctor told me "im responsible for your psychiatric condition" WELL YOU DEFINETLY NOT with all the phone calls i made to him, and letters! IGNORED! that is b*llsh*t. I have had high's, he would never call me back. My mother had a plot against me, because she knew in her head that she was never going to let the doctor treat me for ADHD.
I have get up tommorow, have a million things to do, i have to have all this energy ya know? With the doctor knowing that i am struggling.
I hate my life right now. Help me with some support...anyone please...!
fan
Posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 21:09:14
In reply to Re: I hate my life, posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 20:11:44
People the amount of rejection i got from my doctor "dont let the door hit you in butt" was just devesating.
Read please what i have put, just tell me, i have already got some good advice from people here that care for me. Racer, Phillipa, Polerbear, Sunny days, rks, thank you so much for caring for me and the advice you have given me!
Right, i need to get a better doctor, and get treated for mania, and ADHD. I think i was being too "pushy" on my doctor. But he didnt do a thing! "im sorry, im not going to treat you, legally i cant" What a great doctor hugh?
Please be with me in the future
take care
I'm your#1fan
Posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 21:12:48
In reply to Re: An thank you for all those who advised me...., posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 21:09:14
I TOTALLY FORGOT YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT, "to the point". It helped me understand that of my responsibity of actions, but really i think i need a 2nd opnion, bad. There is fact that i have ADHD.
I dont know where im going to be......im in the ocean of life....with no compass. And fuel is low. Support makes my propellors move faster.
Thanks
fan
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 28, 2008, at 23:53:12
In reply to Re: GYLDIN! and Racer!, posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 21:12:48
Fan...
I think others have made good points in particular around a) there are many other treatment options and b)you can always look for a second opinion. I believe you said you are 20 or over, so your mother has no role to play in this unless you want her.(Which I get the feeling you don't.)
I will also say this much too. I've worked in addictions as a social worker before. (No, I am not saying you are 'addicted' to anything.) I've worked with doctors who have prescribed both benzodiazepines (barbiturates a couple of times too!) and stimulants once a client was detoxed from their drug of 'abuse'. We even used what is called the 'harm reduction model'. and prescribe methadone to former heroin users. What I am getting at, is that if you truly need a stimulant, there will be a good doctor out there to guide you on to the way to use them without abusing them. But, this is going to take time, maybe a fair bit of it. And, you might have to take a trial of other medications. Here are some I pulled from my little 'orange' book (Ontario Association of Youth Counselors Alt ADD/ADHD Med List):
-Clonidine (Catapress)
http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/clonidin.htm
--Provigil
-Selegiline (deprenyl) (And possibly Ensam????)
http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/seleg.htm
-Nortriptyline
-Desipramine
-Protriptyline (possibly not available anymore??)
-Strattera (Although Eli Lilly has recently even issued heavy Suicidal Ideation warnings re: taking Strattera for ADHD/ADD)
-Reboxetine (not available in the U.S. But, with a prescription, can be gotten at an online pharmacy.)
Just to note, these treatments all have various rates of success for treating AD/HD for various people. Like most meds, it's a bit of a crap shoot!For now, use your Xanax as directed (you say that is helping you), and work at finding another doctor. I think the worst thing you could do though is to go and 'demand' stimulants from another doctor.(Not saying you are going to/will.) Think it through, even try writing down what you would say, and calmly explain your situation to another doctor. I wouldn't even mention stimulants, and by that, you don't have to say you where abusing stimulants. Don't lie, but just disclose what the doctor asks. I imagine the anxiety is very, very tough, but again, you've got your Xanax, and think about a better future, the one where you talked about wanting to take the lead. Please feel free to Babblemail if you wish, I think I make a not-too-bad 'big brother'..lol.
Take care...and hold tight..
Best wishes,
Jay
Posted by your#1fan on February 29, 2008, at 0:22:34
In reply to Re: There are many other Tx's » your#1fan, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 28, 2008, at 23:53:12
Read you post, no problem havin'. I feel better know that there is someone here that has delt with people with abuse problems. My doctor refuses, because "his liablity" is so scarce, yet he ignored all 22 of my phone calls to him stating that i was having a bad time with focusing. Including 2 letters i faxed to him, about my condition. He igorged, but the irony "im responsible for you psychiatric condition"
Well he sure has been doing a GREAT job at it! how many nerve breakdowns have i had? no phone calls back from him.
Now im going to be honset, i did abuse stimulants 3 years ago, which was 3 FREAKING years ago. And i thought i would tell him that i'm going to give it another try. My mother had alot to do with this, she did tell him everything, which was good, but helted, and hurt my record badly. Both because of i cant be treated for ADHD, and there is evidence stating i did. I cannot deny the fact it was there, but the letters i wrote my psychiatrist and where ignored. He did nothing, absoluetly nothing. As a doctor, he ignored my phone calls, let my mother control the situation, which she does not want me on stimulants. She had a plan she was hiding from me.. i know it.
There are many texa's here, but im on the list, if you would see me on video camera at school, immidately you would "what's up with that guy" ITS BECAUSE IM going nuts! losing things that are vitally important. I jogged through campus looking for things, adrenaline city.
As really an untreated patient, this evidence should be presented to him in legal action, and my mother. But what will happen is they will argue that i had a history of abuse, with stimulants. The very thing that helps, but i can never be treated with. Only benzodiapines.
Thanks jay, i've tried Stattera at 40mg, Prozac interferes very much with it. I had to stop it. After the "big" hit of info that i cannot be treated with stimulants, i asked if could be prescibed Wellbutrin. He changed, he said im telling what to give me. Self-medication, that could be the very thing that could help, or help at least with some symtoms and he knows it, he's being a bad doctor for just saying "go on your own", nothing i will precibe to you, because your not a doctor. This is what has caused much anger to him and his Practice. He belongs to The Minirith Clinic. Dr-bob, if you could pick up the phone and give him a phone call, that would be great. Im not going to say his name, but he is the 2nd psychiatrist in command, over dr-minirith.
As a doctor that is very cold to treat a patient in that manner.
fan
Posted by Glydin on March 1, 2008, at 7:29:24
In reply to Im so upset right now, posted by your#1fan on February 27, 2008, at 23:55:49
> I have to know that some people here care about me,
~~~ I think a number of posters here do care about you. I do and to that, I feel the need to add.....I have gotten from your posts, a feeling for the level of your anger, upsetness, distress, etc... over your current situation. It is my hope you will deal with these untoward feelings in a way that will be safe for you and those in your RL. If you feel impulsive in a "active" rageful way, I hope you would not act on those feelings and you would seek RL help. I do not like the thought of you making impulsive inappropriate actions in response angry frustrated thoughts.
I am not saying you *would* act in a dangerous way to yourself or to others. I have seen posts on this board - by you and others in a similar situations - that make me feel unsettled and uncomfortable and I felt adding this was something needed to add.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 1, 2008, at 22:43:56
In reply to Im so upset right now, posted by your#1fan on February 27, 2008, at 23:55:49
Hey fan,
I'm sorry you're going through such distress right now. I've had experiences when I felt abandoned before, and I have had very strong emotional reactions to them. It's rough, I know. Maybe you can try to look at this as a service provider (your doctor) who has decided not to continue to provide you with the service you hired him for. That happens sometimes. It's a pain. But we find another and hire them instead. It's like the person who does your dry cleaning or cleans the gutters or cleans your teeth or makes the pizza. All can be replaced. All are involved with you to provide a service, not for a personal relationship.And I understand you have a rocky relationship with your mother and that she may have a personality disorder. That may or may not be the case, but from what you've described, her actions often do contribute to your stress.
And of course you can't go back and change your past.
So all that is going on, but neither none nor all are the cause of your distress. Your distress comes from your reactions to all these challenges--your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in reaction to them. The good thing is, you can have more control over this in time. It's true the right medication can help. Seeing a new doctor who gives you a complete diagnostic workup might be helpful. Working with your counselor at school to develop new coping strategies for your symptoms can help. So can finding activities which increase your sense of self esteem and self-confidence.
You've mentioned "putting on" a mask or a different "personality" before to help you in situations where you don't feel comfortable. What if you tried on the "mask" of mature, independent young man? What would he do? What would he think, say, feel, and do? What advice would he give? How would he handle this?
Take care, fan. You're a special young man. I hope you feel stronger soon.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on March 2, 2008, at 12:39:17
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now » your#1fan, posted by gardenergirl on March 1, 2008, at 22:43:56
Posted by your#1fan on March 2, 2008, at 13:10:00
In reply to Just adding » your#1fan, posted by Glydin on March 1, 2008, at 7:29:24
Glydin,
Im working on a paper rightn now, but i just pulled up your post.
I dont act in an angry manner, i act in a very settle way and i disclose my thoughts here on psychobabble.
I vent alot of my frustration why did this happen? why does this happen in life? thats why.
thanks
fan
Posted by gardenergirl on March 3, 2008, at 10:56:51
In reply to I'd really like to hear what you think, fan. (nm), posted by gardenergirl on March 2, 2008, at 12:39:17
Posted by Glydin on March 3, 2008, at 11:05:41
In reply to Re: Just adding, posted by your#1fan on March 2, 2008, at 13:10:00
Thanks for the assurance.
Posted by your#1fan on March 4, 2008, at 23:48:12
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now » your#1fan, posted by gardenergirl on March 1, 2008, at 22:43:56
Gardengirl,
Im so sorry i didint repond to this post. That was irresponsible of me. But i must make it a fact that i repond to make sure that posters know that heard there advice.
Alrighty...
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<I'm sorry you're going through such distress right now. I've had experiences when I felt abandoned before, and I have had very strong emotional reactions to them. It's rough, I know. Maybe you can try to look at this as a service provider (your doctor) who has decided not to continue to provide you with the service you hired him for. That happens sometimes. It's a pain. But we find another and hire them instead. It's like the person who does your dry cleaning or cleans the gutters or cleans your teeth or makes the pizza. All can be replaced. All are involved with you to provide a service, not for a personal relationship. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
-thank you so much about the doctor, he completely did abandon me, he really just didnt want to go through the Liabilty hassle of that, so he just said "nope" sorry. Let's give a around of applause for his efforts...ok, boo!
THhanks for the know that im, rather having a hard time. I could, for the service provider, but its going to be hard time, it would take the "mature" man mask for a long until i get a real peronality.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<And I understand you have a rocky relationship with your mother and that she may have a personality disorder. That may or may not be the case, but from what you've described, her actions often do contribute to your stress.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
--my mom, well i think i put a little to much info about, but my mother does interfere with medical treatment. I love her much, she loves me but i cant let her control me and that is very hard becuse im still attached to her in that matter
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<So can finding activities which increase your sense of self esteem and self-confidence.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
yes, that is really true, i found if you work alot, you are really going to appriciate the freetime your going to have after you have off work, but if your a workaholic (which Racer told me not to be) you devote all your life really to work such as Catholic Priest ( but not all of them:)
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<You've mentioned "putting on" a mask or a different "personality" before to help you in situations where you don't feel comfortable. What if you tried on the "mask" of mature, independent young man? What would he do? What would he think, say, feel, and do? What advice would he give? How would he handle this? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Something good happened, i told 3 couselors about this condition, its not a multiple personality, but it can seem like it because i start acting in a diffrent manner, what it is to cover up the scared little kid inside, its masked with so many ego's to protect it inside. I'm having to get thapry for it. But one man that i talked to, he's into forcenic counseling, and he was shocked that how behind I was because most of his clients he see's are doing bad stuff. I told him everything, how i act, what i do during the day, the two people in my head that help me out during the day.....because of bad social skills (not many close friends). He gave me something to look up on how to improve, im going to do it, but i admit, i am a procrastintor, but i will get things done. I just hope im not Procrastingnating my life.
Thanks Thanks for your regonization of my "imputs" in my posts.
your#1fan
Posted by your#1fan on March 4, 2008, at 23:49:02
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now, posted by your#1fan on March 4, 2008, at 23:48:12
Posted by gardenergirl on March 5, 2008, at 17:44:53
In reply to Re: Im so upset right now, posted by your#1fan on March 4, 2008, at 23:48:12
Thanks for your reply, fan.
You know, I'm a big procrastinator, too. Seriously. It's one bad habit I'm trying to break, though I haven't made a strong enough commitment to myself, yet, to be successful.
I'm glad you're seeing a counselor, and I hope you're finding benefit from that.
And I know you love your mother, and I'm sure she loves you, too. That makes the conflict harder, imo, because otherwise, you could just walk away and not worry about what she thinks.
You've got a lot going on, and you're working one day at a time towards getting where you want to be. We all go at our own pace. You'll get there in your own time if you just focus on being you.
Take care,
gg
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.