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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shar on October 1, 2003, at 0:14:22
I stopped my meds a while back for a variety of reasons ($$ was one) and wow! realized that even tho' I'd cut back to half-dose of wellbutrin (buproprion) it was making a big difference!
I started experiencing the CLASSIC symptoms of depression, extreme fatigue, very low mood, etc., etc.
Guess it was helping more than I realized. I think maybe, in my heart of hearts, I was hoping I wasn't depressed anymore, but I'd been on WB for so long I couldn't tell. Well.....dysthymia and depression are still a significant part of my life.
Wondering how other old-timers are doing! Phil and Greg have always had the most interesting cocktails......
Shar
Posted by tina on October 1, 2003, at 11:39:56
In reply to Anybody down?, posted by shar on October 1, 2003, at 0:14:22
I think it's a permanent condition for me.
Way way down......and sinking fast.
not much to do about it though. I've been off meds for months now. I do still take my anti-anxiety benzos though. Needing those more than ever these days.
take care and I hope you go up up up soon.
tina
Posted by Phil on October 1, 2003, at 12:24:03
In reply to Anybody down?, posted by shar on October 1, 2003, at 0:14:22
shar, I get thru my days pretty easily most of the time. Last Thur and Fri I didn't go to work because I just felt bad..like allergy problems. I don't know if it's allergy stuff or just bad days.
My combo currently is: Lex..20mg at night
Clonazepam..3mg day
DexSR generic..120mg day
Wellbutrin..Just cut to 200
mg a day from 400.
Now I don't flip the bird
at strangers for no
reason. But if there's
a reason, well....I never think Wellbutrin is working because I can't tell exactly what it's doing. Cutting the dose in half didn't hurt me any.
My doc is keeping me supplied with Wellbutrin and Lexapro. Haven't had to buy any for months, thank God.
I buy my other meds locally at a higher price than if I went with the states program of buying 90 day supply all at once thru mail order. Don't have the $$$ to do that.
You know my supplements I use. : )
I hope you can get some drugs soon. I know I'd sink like a rock without meds. Still, I'm always tempted to stop them.
I've named my liver "Old Crusty."
Posted by shar on October 3, 2003, at 18:25:57
In reply to Re: Anybody down? » shar, posted by Phil on October 1, 2003, at 12:24:03
Ok, Phil. I hate to say this, but I hate it when I'm not 'doing well' (read: would just as soon commit suicide) and someone is 'getting thru their days ok'. Nothing personal, you understand. I'm (at the same time) pleased to hear you're getting thru your days ok. In fact, I would be pleased (but envious) to hear that you felt great!.
Don't stop writing, you help keep us afloat.
Shar
xoxo
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 4, 2003, at 8:27:49
In reply to Anybody down?, posted by shar on October 1, 2003, at 0:14:22
I'm having a very hard time of it right now.. very very low, very very stressed.. just feeling useless..
But, so many of my friends are struggling at the moment.. and they all need me for support.. so I am being bled dry by some of them, and don't know what to do about it.. I tried talking to a friend the other night when she called me, and all I got was "I'm the one struggling, you're a really awful friend for trying to turn it round to you"... If this person tells me once more what a terrible terrible friend I am.. then.. I don't know what I will do.
Then thursday night, 2am, another friend decides to totally lose the plot, so I was up all night (got 2 hours sleep) and spent all day yesterday getitng him sectioned (not easy, as you have to be next of kin to do so, but he has no family left in UK now, only his pregnant girlfriend, who lives in Southern Ireland, so not UK)
I'm empty and totally and utterly lost
Nikki
Posted by noa on October 4, 2003, at 11:03:03
In reply to Anybody down?, posted by shar on October 1, 2003, at 0:14:22
Shar, are you going back on the wellbutrin? Seems like you should.
I've been pretty good, though I suppose you could say I still have dysthymia in a milder form than before. But the major depression is under control. I still take a cocktail of:
30 Adderall XR
225 Effexor XR
500 Serzone
Cytomel and Synthroid
Chromium
Fish oil
Folic acid
lorazepam to counteract effexor sleep problems.I don't love this cocktail, but it's my holding pattern until something really new, different, and promising comes along. I wish I could take wellbutrin. When I tried it (together with Paxil, years ago) I got tinnitus. I did ask my pdoc about whether it was worth trying it all by itself, he said he was concerned because I tend to get anxiety, fidgeting, sleep problems from meds and he things Wellbutrin would be too activating for me. Hmm...I'm not totally convinced by I don't feel I can take the risk at this point of going off my other meds, trying wellbutrin, finding out it isn't the right thing for me and then going back on the effexor and serzone and discovering I don't respond as before. I had a similar experience with Prozac--it worked for me at a low dose, I went off of it and then a few years later, went back on it and wasn't as responsive to it.
My problem lately is that I've not gotten enough sleep, nor have I been exercising. I've been working a lot. And it's autumn, so I have to start getting into the routine of using my light box or else I'll slip into SAD symtpoms again.
Posted by shar on October 4, 2003, at 22:09:53
In reply to Re: Anybody down? » shar, posted by NikkiT2 on October 4, 2003, at 8:27:49
Nikki,
Well, I don't know if this'll help, but I think you win the prize right now for crummy things going on! Wow, I do not know if I could even hold up to all of that, especially from friends who need so much--I have about a thimbulful of energy right now. Whew!BTW, I don't think 'useless' fits in with helping friends, especially your friend who needed admission to the hospital (I assume). Now, if that means not functioning as well as you'd like, I can totally relate, but...look at the good things you're doing.
Tho I can't offer much across the cyber-waves, please remember to do the best you can to be easy on yourself, even if that means your friends don't get filled up.
And, let us hear from you! (please)
xoxo
Shar
> I'm having a very hard time of it right now.. very very low, very very stressed.. just feeling useless..
>
> But, so many of my friends are struggling at the moment.. and they all need me for support.. so I am being bled dry by some of them, and don't know what to do about it.. I tried talking to a friend the other night when she called me, and all I got was "I'm the one struggling, you're a really awful friend for trying to turn it round to you"... If this person tells me once more what a terrible terrible friend I am.. then.. I don't know what I will do.
>
> Then thursday night, 2am, another friend decides to totally lose the plot, so I was up all night (got 2 hours sleep) and spent all day yesterday getitng him sectioned (not easy, as you have to be next of kin to do so, but he has no family left in UK now, only his pregnant girlfriend, who lives in Southern Ireland, so not UK)
>
> I'm empty and totally and utterly lost
>
> Nikki
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 5, 2003, at 8:51:32
In reply to Re: Anybody down? » NikkiT2, posted by shar on October 4, 2003, at 22:09:53
Hey hun..
yeah, sectioned is being taken into hospital aginst your will..
Thing is.. its all damned Heroin related, and thats what annoys me. he had told all of us he was clean.. and he's not.. and his girlfriend is 5 1/2 months pregnant, and needs him..I'm just fed up with having friends. I know that sounds terrible.. but I am fed up being the door mat they wipe the dog poo they've walked in off on. But I'm not a strong enough person to do anything about it.
Oh, and did I mention I'm off meds *lol* Had such a bad allergic reaction to the last one he put me on that he wanted me to have 2 months free of them. I see the sexy Dr B on tuesday though.. but I only seem to have one med left to try, as I'm not willing to try MAOI's.. (life without pizza is just not worth contemplating!!).. lets hope this works then. I do have hopes for it, so we shall see!
And I'm am so utterly fed up with all the name changing thats going on around here.. These people that know stuff about me, but I have no idea who they are. People who seem to have only been here 5 minutes complaining about Dr Bobs moderating.. yet it seems they've been here for ages really.. and the Galkeepinon thing has really really done my head in. If you had seen the stuff she wrote to me under her other persona, you might understand why I have problems forgiving. I feel tricked and lied to. I'd post them here if they wouldn't just been full of *'s!
But.. I'm not suicidal really (which actually suprises me).. but I feel worse than I have done in such a long long long time.. nothing feels right or normal.. I don't feel safe, and the feelings of utter utter dread are awful.
But plus side.. I'm hardly eating so may actually lose some weight!!!
I want to cry the entire time, but after two pathetic little tears it all dries up and I'm left feeling.. cheated I guess.And I know its not SAD, cos I hardly went out all summer anyway, so hardly got any UV then..
And finances are very bad.. have no idea how to afford all the birthdays I need to buy for November, let alone christmas.
Oh, I'm sorry to off load all of this here.. I have no real problems.. I have my husband, I'm not in much physical pain, I have some wonderful friends (even if they are all Virtual ones). And not even getting PMS as my periods have stopped.
Oh well.. I guess this will pass, as with everything else, eventually.
Thanks so much for caring..
Nikki xx
Posted by allisonm on October 5, 2003, at 21:47:28
In reply to Anybody down?, posted by shar on October 1, 2003, at 0:14:22
Yup. I found myself weeping at the table in a restaurant this morning for no apparent reason. I think some of it has to do with the change of season. Getting colder, getting darker earlier and longer, sad anniversaries coming up...it has happened around this time every year for the past 6+ years (that I can remember). I took a nap and that seemed to help some.
300mg Wellbutrin SR (hoping to change to XL)
50mg Zoloft (generic)
Posted by shar on October 6, 2003, at 11:28:24
In reply to Re: Anybody down? » shar, posted by NikkiT2 on October 5, 2003, at 8:51:32
>I have no real problems
Nikki,
really, I had to chuckle just a little when I read that. Mainly because we all deal with all this BIG stuff (crap) that goes on, and then minimize it totally.You DO have some big stuff going on--yes, problems, like the being off meds, your friends, financial worries--and feeling so low. And, those are "real" problems, imo. I'd love to see you give yourself a break and a pat on the back for being strong and going on each day doing your best.
I hope my chuckle doesn't offend you. It just felt so familiar when you said that, and how I do it, too, and how much I've seen us PB folks ignore the fact that they are handling things that would bring many 'normals' to their knees...but we never give ourselves credit for it. We so often find a way to minimize, or say others are worse off, or our issues don't 'deserve' attention when there's so much pain elsewhere in the world. You know how it goes.
Take care (pat, pat, pat)
Shar
Posted by Greg on October 6, 2003, at 18:23:12
In reply to Anybody down?, posted by shar on October 1, 2003, at 0:14:22
We have money problems? They couldn't POSSIBLY have anything to do with our depression, could they? Sarcasm over...Yes MIC, I've been down so long that you would think that there's no way to go but up. Alas, tis not the case.
Interesting cocktail
Zyprexa, 5mgs, 2.5mgs am, 2.5mgs at bedtime
Topamax, 200mgs, 100mgs am, 100mgs at bedtime
Ambien, 10mgs at bedtime (for sleep)
Klonopin, 1mg daily, as needed
Nortriptyline, 100mgs, at bedtime, (for nerve pain, back and neck)
Avinza, 30mgs, once a day (do a search on this if you want a big surprise, it's only been on the market for 4 or 5 months)I'm still hanging there despite my best efforts no to. I keep reading that 2004 is going to bring a major upturn in the job market. I know in my heart that if I can just find a full-time job, something with benefits, a place where I can feel like I matter, I can turn my life around. If you would have told me 10 years ago that a job would mean so much to me, I would have laughed in your face. I never knew that contributing to a company, and feeling that sense of accomplishment was such a big part of who I am. In a way it makes me ashamed...
I hope everyone is doing the best they can, and I send you my love.
A side note to Tina. I DID IT!!! I got on the scale yesterday and I was 198! You know how much it meant to me to finally break that 200 lb barrier. I owe a lot of that to you my darlin'. Thanks for believing in me!
Greg
> I stopped my meds a while back for a variety of reasons ($$ was one) and wow! realized that even tho' I'd cut back to half-dose of wellbutrin (buproprion) it was making a big difference!
>
> I started experiencing the CLASSIC symptoms of depression, extreme fatigue, very low mood, etc., etc.
>
> Guess it was helping more than I realized. I think maybe, in my heart of hearts, I was hoping I wasn't depressed anymore, but I'd been on WB for so long I couldn't tell. Well.....dysthymia and depression are still a significant part of my life.
>
> Wondering how other old-timers are doing! Phil and Greg have always had the most interesting cocktails......
>
> Shar
Posted by shar on October 7, 2003, at 23:37:32
In reply to Re: Anybody down? » shar, posted by Greg on October 6, 2003, at 18:23:12
Wow! What a cocktail! It seems to cover about everything!
I know the job stuff is weird, how one can mean so much. I've recently realized that I can't 'hit the ground running' in my old field anymore, so I'm looking more at entry level stuff. It's a bummer in a way, but it's what I need to do right now. I'm glad you still have your hand in your chosen field.
xoxo
YIC
Posted by kazoo on October 9, 2003, at 4:29:43
In reply to Anybody down?, posted by shar on October 1, 2003, at 0:14:22
Aside from all that depressing depression, how are you, sweetie?
kazoo
This is the end of the thread.
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