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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on August 27, 1998, at 17:12:39
I called the county. This doctor is truly the only one available for me. The other doctor for the county only sees children.
So, realistically, I am stuck with this doctor. I did call the patients rights advocate, who said that he'd keep my complaint confidential, that he got good and bad feedback on all the doctors, had good feedback on this one and also the same feedback I had given about her. There are no other doctors available, however.
My concerns are that since she didn't pay attention to my questions about the drug, Serzone, she won't pay attention to side effects. I'm afraid that she'll write off any side effects as "part of my pathology" which has happened before. (Including the dr who said I was "incurable" and should just get used to being depressed. Wish people like that would GO TO psychiatrists instead of BECOMING psychiatrists.) Since I can't see a doctor to find out if the things I'm worrying about are happening, like is the disorientation normal? Is the dizziness likely to pass? Is my blood pressure lower than usual, or is this feeling related to anxiety about the fact that I have a drug (OK, this part is pathology: my mother was so fiercly anti-any-kind-of-drug that it's hard for me to take aspirin, so think how other drugs affect me!) floating around in my system doing god-knows-what? Can anyone out there think of anything useful to say?
thanks for taking the time to read this. I do realize that it sounds like the depression is coloring my views here, and I'm sure it is. The sad fact is that this county does not have one single private practice psychiatrist willing to see the county's patients. Maybe I am asking too much, or over reacting, but keep in mind, it's frightening enough to be asked to take these damn drugs, even with the hope of them helping, without having that fear dismissed. Remember, the fear may be unreasonable, it may be caused by the pathology the drugs are created to help, but the FEAR IS REAL to those of us who are experiencing it. Besides, for me at least, depression is tied up in feelings of being unable to control aspects of my life. Taking away the control of my own body, which is what giving me drugs without my input feels like, does not do anything therapeutic. Give me the information to help me make the decision to try the drug. Don't just tell me that "it's good for what ails me." And maybe listen when I say that I have concerns. Just a suggestion.
BTW, yes, I have been to psychopharmacologists who were wonderful. They do exist. That's what makes this so devastating. I held on through the worst episode of depression of my life for the five weeks it took to get an appointment to see this doctor. I didn't kill myself, though it seemed the best option open to me. At the end of this struggle, to find that this was the treatment available to me was totally devastating. I'm back to thinking that suicide probably is the best option since I'm not even worth decent psychiatric care. Damn. Depression is bad enough without the treatment making it worse.
(And if you are a new-to-practice doctor reading this, please pay attention and learn something so that your patients never write this.)
Posted by Toby on August 28, 1998, at 10:05:54
In reply to Update. Wanna offer support?, posted by Racer on August 27, 1998, at 17:12:39
Me again. You said your anorexia has been flaring up with the worsening of the depression. Your blood pressure may be falling due to dehydration or a drop in weight, even a few pounds. That may also contribute to the lightheaded and disoriented feeling, although the medication could be causing it directly. That feeling is thought to be caused by the acute increase in your system of serotonin and anticholinergic effects. These side effects SHOULD go away in about 2 weeks, but I would caution you again to go up on the dose slowly. If she gave you a sample starter pack, you may want to stick with just 100 mg per day for longer than a week to let your body get used to the medicine. The other thing you could do to maybe decrease the confused and lightheaded feeling during the day is to take the entire daily dose at night; for example if you are supposed to take 50 mg in the morning and again at bedtime, just take 100 mg at bedtime and none in the morning. Many times that completely relieves that "strange" feeling.
Posted by Racer on August 28, 1998, at 16:24:00
In reply to Re: Update. Wanna offer support?, posted by Toby on August 28, 1998, at 10:05:54
Not really anything to do with the drugs. Except the parts that really are physical (constipation, lack of appetite, headache, etc), but really just the fact that the damn doctor ignored me, dismissed my concerns as simply the depression, and didn't treat me with basic respect. Between my legitimate concerns that the doctor will not listen to me later on if other side effects occur or if the drug doesn't work at the level she thinks it will, and we'll end up running through lots of other drugs and failing and that I can't hold on that long; my fear that she'll decide, based on my anger at the treatment, that I'm really not depressed and put me on something worse since I'm not being nice enough to her; and just the fact that I am so very angry at the treatment so far and feel that I have to keep it all inside to protect myself; well, I'm not in very great shape, and don't know what to do.
What to do is simple: find a decent doctor. That's not possible. So, next best: tell the doctor why I think she's not treating me appropriately (in terms of respect, etc.). What's that going to accomplish? Nothing. The woman is not capable of doing otherwise. What do I risk by doing this? Being written up as a danger to myself and being involuntarily hospitalized. Or deciding that the depression must be something else because it's not responding to the dosage she thinks should be appropriate and switch me over to an anti-psychotic or somehting? (Don't say my imagination is too good: I have none. This really did happen once to me. The doctor couldn't believe that Paxil wasn't making any difference at 20mg, so tried to switch me to another drug that I looked up and refused to take. I talked him into upping the Paxil, which finally started kicking in around 30mg and worked OK at 45mg, though the side effects were pretty awful. Yeah, I am scared about that happening again. Especially since that doctor I could talk to and because I am much less motivated to live now. I'm using the "just don't kill yourself until after this appointment" and "give the drugs a week to see what happens, then if you still want to you can kill yourself" to keep myself going. I don't have a lot of energy left for this whole thing. I'm ready to have something go well without having to fight for it, there's not enough fight left in me now.)
So, thanks. At this point I think the emotional side effects of the damn doctor are more of a problem than any physical side effects of the drug. If anyone sends me a SASE, I'll cut off some of my anger that is just sitting around and send it to you, though. That might help.
This is the end of the thread.
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