![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 60. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 19:29:53
Sometimes I read other posts are feel like I am cursed with depression plus. Off nardil ....
I sleep 16 hours a day
Feel like I have 100 lbs weights on my feet
Can't taste food
Have no sense of smell
Can't drag myself out of my apartment
Can't drag myself to eat
Don't answer the phone
Can't smile
Never see my friendsBasically sit in bed and obsess about how terrible I feel
I see other's who say there depressed say things like, I cry alot (.... I wish I could feel anything, even sadness) or can't have difficulties at work or have problem with anger.
Do you guy here feel more like me ... dead to the world, or like the people I described above .... sad and angry.
Spike
Posted by MB on January 14, 2002, at 20:41:14
In reply to How depressed are YOU?, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 19:29:53
> Sometimes I read other posts are feel like I am cursed with depression plus. Off nardil ....
>
> I sleep 16 hours a day
> Feel like I have 100 lbs weights on my feet
> Can't taste food
> Have no sense of smell
> Can't drag myself out of my apartment
> Can't drag myself to eat
> Don't answer the phone
> Can't smile
> Never see my friends
>
> Basically sit in bed and obsess about how terrible I feel
>
> I see other's who say there depressed say things like, I cry alot (.... I wish I could feel anything, even sadness) or can't have difficulties at work or have problem with anger.
>
> Do you guy here feel more like me ... dead to the world, or like the people I described above .... sad and angry.
>
> Spike
I feel dead to the world, but not to the degree you suffer. Mine is more a constant dysthymia with periodic bouts of depression about once a year. With the bouts of depression, I have suffered all the symptoms you described except for the lack of smell. I hope you get to feeling better. It's weird that the "numbness" of depression can be so painful (numbess is usually the absence of pain). Hmmm...maybe I'm getting tripped up in semantic B.S.MB
Posted by Nicole Bardon on January 14, 2002, at 20:42:19
In reply to How depressed are YOU?, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 19:29:53
Spike, I go through those phases, all the ones you mentioned, and different ones, in the midst of a severe depressive episode. Does the Nardil work for you so you CAN do these things while on it? If you can, then good. If you can't, then maybe you need to try a new med. I've been doing fairly well on Zoloft for the past 7 years or so, but lately, I'm doing the not answer the phone, don't talk to anybody thing. Sometimes my fingers can't even type, there's some disconnection between thought and action. When it's real bad, I can't even read. So, you are not alone. Like I said, the Zoloft isn't holding me right now because so much is happening that I feel utterly overwhelmed. Even contemplated suicide, so I knocked myself out until the thoughts went away. I have been too depressed to function, including paying bills, doing paperwork that is absolutely necessary, eating, keeping myself clean. And I'm getting deranged from lack of sleep. I'm checking on new meds, both antidepressants and antianxiety. I have to. Please do the same if yours are not working. And you're right, when people can cry, they are depressed, but not severely depressed. Crying goes, emotion goes, everything goes with severe clinical depresssion, except the weight on your feet and the deep dark hole. Don't stay there, Spike. But, please, if the Nardil does work for you, keep taking it, and don't worry about how you are without it, or how depressed other people are. It doesn't matter. Take care.
Posted by IsoM on January 14, 2002, at 20:44:01
In reply to How depressed are YOU?, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 19:29:53
Spike what other ADs have you used in the past besides Nardil? I found another post of someone asking, but there never was an answer to that question.
I never get sad with depression. I can feel sad when I'm properly treated & something that truly is sad comes up but I get bleak, irritable, & angry at first. That's how I know my depression is getting worse. It'll progress from there if not treated to complete apathy - I do nothing, feel nothing, & want nothing more than to be non-existent. No appetite, no desires, nothing - absolutely nothing but guilt that I can't help my family, let alone myself. But at that point, I'm really, really low.
I try to keep an eye on myself because while I have a strong network of friends/family that cares, I reject everybody when I get that low. So as soon as the bleaknees & irritability start, I do something about it.
> Sometimes I read other posts are feel like I am cursed with depression plus. Off nardil ....
>
> I sleep 16 hours a day
> Feel like I have 100 lbs weights on my feet
> Can't taste food
> Have no sense of smell
> Can't drag myself out of my apartment
> Can't drag myself to eat
> Don't answer the phone
> Can't smile
> Never see my friends
>
> Basically sit in bed and obsess about how terrible I feel
>
> I see other's who say there depressed say things like, I cry alot (.... I wish I could feel anything, even sadness) or can't have difficulties at work or have problem with anger.
>
> Do you guy here feel more like me ... dead to the world, or like the people I described above .... sad and angry.
>
> Spike
Posted by bob on January 14, 2002, at 20:55:22
In reply to How depressed are YOU?, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 19:29:53
Spike:
I'd say that neither of your options are particularly appealling: "dead to the world", or "sad and crying". Probably everybody's depression is somewhat unique.
For me, off of all meds:
I get extreme despondence, waves of anxiety, a deep forlorn feeling, crying binges, and desperation. I can hardly bring myself to take a shower, let alone leave the house. I too sleep at least 14 hrs/day, and sometimes longer. The less I'm awake, the better it is. I HATE to hear the phone ring, and don't like to talk to people. I see other people doing things and getting joy out of small things, and I get very upset -- I personally see no way out anymore. I experience a lot of suicidal rumination, and sexual rumination/OCD. I also experience hatred and anger towards others for various and sundry reasons. Actually, this is on low doses of meds; on none, I'm not so sure I'd be here. It's that bad.
On meds, I experience induced fatigue and drowsiness. My anxiety eventually remits to the point that I care so little about things, I can't really function (as in hold down a job). My sleep cycle (circadian rhythm) gets shifted so that I'm staying awake almost all night, and sleeping well into the afternoon. I have done so much to try and counteract this, and have failed. I can't feel my genitals anymore, and I gain much weight. I don't get true joy from things anymore, despite the anxiety being gone. I sweat a lot, and am often overheated. I experience intense, sometimes horrific dreams and eat ALL THE TIME. I also have developed the "muscle discomfort" lately that I never used to have -- mostly in my back and extremeties. The significant physical discomfort and flattened, crushed emotion often starts me on a downward titration. I always think, "There must be something better than this." For me, I don't think there is.
Posted by bob on January 14, 2002, at 21:04:16
In reply to How depressed are YOU?, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 19:29:53
A couple more things I forgot:
When I'm not responding to meds, I hate the sunlight! Can you believe that???? I hate the daytime, and the morning, and anything to do with it. I also hardly eat anymore: once per day, sometimes twice.
Most medecines also cause me significant constipation and sometimes dizzyness.
Posted by bob on January 14, 2002, at 21:06:51
In reply to Re: How depressed are YOU?, posted by Nicole Bardon on January 14, 2002, at 20:42:19
Not answering the phone, and not paying my bills are two classics for me also.
Posted by bonnie_ann on January 14, 2002, at 21:37:09
In reply to read at your own risk - not uplifting » spike4848, posted by bob on January 14, 2002, at 20:55:22
How do you get to this point? Did it happen as a result of a traumatic event, abuse, or was it a build up things? Where you teased as a child? Did you try therapy? Support Groups? What is it that makes it so difficult to feel better? I don't get it.
I don't much like my personality/looks and can see where I need improvement, but I don't want to kill myself. I can't imagine not getting out of bed in the morning and going to work.
Or showering or eating. How did this happen to you and how can I prevent it from happening to me?
Bonnie
Posted by Mr. Scott on January 14, 2002, at 21:49:52
In reply to How does this happen? slowly over time or some .., posted by bonnie_ann on January 14, 2002, at 21:37:09
Let me preface by saying I was a wild happy child (maybe even grandiose) and although I was always obsessive I never became depressed until 16. First came anxiety and then a Major D. Once you find some meds that hold your head above water, stop obsessing about them like I do and insead do the following.(1) Find try love and never let it go once you have it.
(2) Keep active and social even if it means doing things that your not sure your interested in doing. But mostly keep up the social network!!!
(3) Go easy on the boozae and drugs.
(4) Find a goal and priciples you believe in and spend the rest of your days living and or achieving it and them.also boredom is the devils workshop.
Scott
Posted by Mags on January 14, 2002, at 23:22:28
In reply to How does this happen? slowly over time or some .., posted by bonnie_ann on January 14, 2002, at 21:37:09
Bonnie,
I don't think anyone really knows how we get there and we sure don't want to be there. I haven't had any terrible childhood stories to tell other than BPII runs in my family...I don't have any situational reasons to be depressed and yet it happens...If I could tell you how to avoid it I would....but I don't..the first time it was a gradual feeling over years that robbed me of my sleep, my feelings, my soul, and eventually my job...I was a terrified nervous wreak at work 'cause I knew I was screwing up!! I couldn't remember anything!
You walk around like a zombie wading through water...every thing you do is utter exhaustion..just thinking about doing it is exhausting, because your concentration and memory is gone. Something as simple as brushing your teeth can wear you out!.... for me sometimes the feelings sneak up on you little by little...you don't pay the bills...you notice cobwebs and dust everywhere in the house but you don't care...you start wearing the same clothes every day....shower only if absolutely necessary(because you have to see your doc) ...the phone stays unanswered unless the kids are home and then you yell at them for saying Mom's home.....then you cry and beat yourself up for being a bad MOM....you either can't stop sleepin and eatin or the reverse, no sleep , no eat....you just want to bury yourself in a hole and never come out....you think about all those pills and how easy it would be to take them...but then you remember...MOM did that ...I won't do that to MY kids....so you carry on...sometimes you manage at home...sometimes you have to go to the hospital....
This is how I feel...and I sure wish I knew how to keep it away....then because of some new so called magic pill, you may see light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes for a few weeks or months you almost feel normal...and then it comes with a loud CRASH or it insidiously sneaks back at ya.....that is my life as a depressive...
Sorry to make this so long ;o(
Mags
> How do you get to this point? Did it happen as a result of a traumatic event, abuse, or was it a build up things? Where you teased as a child? Did you try therapy? Support Groups? What is it that makes it so difficult to feel better? I don't get it.
> I don't much like my personality/looks and can see where I need improvement, but I don't want to kill myself. I can't imagine not getting out of bed in the morning and going to work.
> Or showering or eating. How did this happen to you and how can I prevent it from happening to me?
> Bonnie
>
Posted by bob on January 14, 2002, at 23:35:35
In reply to How does this happen? slowly over time or some .., posted by bonnie_ann on January 14, 2002, at 21:37:09
Bonnie:
Mags' description sounds very much like mine would. It just came out of nowhere... built up over the years. I cannot point to one single traumatic invent in my life that might have led me to be like this. It was a long slow slide. My brain just doesn't work right. I assure you, if I knew how it happened, I wouldn't have let it... or I'd be changing it. My depression (in my opinion) comes from entirely within, i.e., it's endogenous. A "healthy" person who had all the same experiences I had would be perfectly fine, I believe.
Posted by Mags on January 14, 2002, at 23:36:43
In reply to Re: How depressed are YOU? » spike4848, posted by IsoM on January 14, 2002, at 20:44:01
> I try to keep an eye on myself because while I have a strong network of friends/family that cares, I reject everybody when I get that low. So as soon as the bleaknees & irritability start, I do something about it.
Iso,
Thanks for the insight ..I really understand what you are explaining. You said when you get to the point were things are really bad "You do something about it"...If you don't mind me asking, what do you do???
Thanks!
Posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 23:41:38
In reply to Re: How depressed are YOU? » spike4848, posted by IsoM on January 14, 2002, at 20:44:01
> Spike what other ADs have you used in the past besides Nardil?
Here is the list:
Imipramine to 300 mg/day - minimal response
effexor to 350 mg/day - minimal response
Wellbutrin to 300 mg/day - anxiety
Imipramine and Lithium - worked ... used for 3 years, side effects of severe memory impairment, sexual dysfunction, tremor, sedation
Remeron and Lithium - minimal response
Nardil 60 mg/day - worked ... used for 4 years on and off .... but weight gain, sexual dysfunction, insomnia, memory problems
Zoloft to 250 mg/day - minimal response
Pamelor to 150 mg/day - minimal response
Lamictal to 400 mg/day - minimal response
Lamictal and ritalin - minimal response
Lithium to 900 mg/day - minimal response* all the above are with 0.5 mg/day klonopin for panic attacks
So really only Nardil and Imipramine/lithium have worked
With Nardil my mood is actually 100% .... but I gain 35 lbs, impotent/decreased libdo, memory loss, insomnia (need ambien or no sleep all night) ..... so recently with all the weight gain I was getting afraid of developing diabetes and was tired of all the side effects .... so I tried lithium thinking maybe I am a soft bipolar(failing multiple antidepressants, atypical depression, have one relative with bipolar disease) ..... at 900 mg/day minimal effect .... I tried to go higher but had problems with vomiting
So now I am considering
1. Back to Nardil with its side effects
2. Try Parnate
3. Try SSRI + lithium augmentation
4. Try Pamelor + zoloft
5. ProvigilDon't know which way to turn .....
Spike
Posted by Mags on January 14, 2002, at 23:55:13
In reply to Not sure what to do next ..... » IsoM, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 23:41:38
Spike, I have tried many of what you have with similar responses. I am now wondering if we just can't take anything in large or even therapeutic doses. Do you think it makes sense to take small doses of a few differrent meds?.You have taken large doses with minimal response. I was thinking this combo for me.
25 mg lamictal
low dose Neurontin
Prozac 20mg
Effexor 75 mg
Wellbutrin low dose
Provigil
Your combo is out for me cause of the weight gain and I couldn't tolerate lithium.
Any thoughts anyone?
Mags
> > Spike what other ADs have you used in the past besides Nardil?
>
> Here is the list:
>
>
> Imipramine to 300 mg/day - minimal response
> effexor to 350 mg/day - minimal response
> Wellbutrin to 300 mg/day - anxiety
> Imipramine and Lithium - worked ... used for 3 years, side effects of severe memory impairment, sexual dysfunction, tremor, sedation
> Remeron and Lithium - minimal response
> Nardil 60 mg/day - worked ... used for 4 years on and off .... but weight gain, sexual dysfunction, insomnia, memory problems
> Zoloft to 250 mg/day - minimal response
> Pamelor to 150 mg/day - minimal response
> Lamictal to 400 mg/day - minimal response
> Lamictal and ritalin - minimal response
> Lithium to 900 mg/day - minimal response
>
> * all the above are with 0.5 mg/day klonopin for panic attacks
>
> So really only Nardil and Imipramine/lithium have worked
>
> With Nardil my mood is actually 100% .... but I gain 35 lbs, impotent/decreased libdo, memory loss, insomnia (need ambien or no sleep all night) ..... so recently with all the weight gain I was getting afraid of developing diabetes and was tired of all the side effects .... so I tried lithium thinking maybe I am a soft bipolar(failing multiple antidepressants, atypical depression, have one relative with bipolar disease) ..... at 900 mg/day minimal effect .... I tried to go higher but had problems with vomiting
>
> So now I am considering
>
> 1. Back to Nardil with its side effects
> 2. Try Parnate
> 3. Try SSRI + lithium augmentation
> 4. Try Pamelor + zoloft
> 5. Provigil
>
> Don't know which way to turn .....
>
> Spike
Posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 23:56:19
In reply to How does this happen? slowly over time or some .., posted by bonnie_ann on January 14, 2002, at 21:37:09
Hey,
I will sum it up in one word ... genetics. Both my father and mother have depression. I had a great childhood and youth. Actually many people have told me I am very attractive .... tall, dark hair, good build. I was always very athletic ..... Then I went to graduate school and at age 24 started getting my symptoms gradually.
So I was the last person in the world to think I would end up like this ..... actually up till 5 years ago things were on track to the american dream .... good job, family, house .... but the bomb of depression hit and now I have just managed to keep my job. Relationships ... although easy to get into ... its hard for the the women to accept I have depression and tolerate my sexual dysfunction from nardil.
And yes I have tried and still go to therapy/support groups .... althought my childhood was great .... so I usually just talk about my difficulties with medications and dealing with life having depression now.
Spike
Posted by bob on January 15, 2002, at 0:12:09
In reply to Re: How does this happen? slowly over time or some .. » bonnie_ann, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 23:56:19
Yup! Genetics.
My mother and sister are both affected, although to a lesser degree than I. I too, up until the age of 23, thought I was headed towards great things. I did very well in college, and landed a good job. Even the first few years after I crashed, I figured I'd be off the meds soon enough. WRONG!
What really makes me wonder sometimes, is where this crap was is the previous generations. Although there were a few examples of dysfunctional individuals here and there, there is no record of either suicide, or institutionalization. What the heck happened???!!!
Posted by spike4848 on January 15, 2002, at 0:21:27
In reply to my depressed life and how it snuck up on me... » bonnie_ann, posted by Mags on January 14, 2002, at 23:22:28
> This is how I feel...and I sure wish I knew how to keep it away....then because of some new so called magic pill, you may see light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes for a few weeks or months you almost feel normal...and then it comes with a loud CRASH or it insidiously sneaks back at ya.....that is my life as a depressive...
> Sorry to make this so long ;o(
> Mags
Dear Mags,You summed it up perfectly .... how did this happened to US? I am dumbfounded. Other than it runs in my family as well. It really is tragic .... depression/bipolar steals the lives of innocent individuals. And the endless suffering ..... hoping a new med will come out to reduce just a little bit of the pain. The worst is depression is different than let say diabetes .... people do not send cards or flowers or call to encourage me to get well when I am down. Sometimes I wish I just had medical disease like diabetes ..... at least I would still have my mind ....
Spike
Posted by spike4848 on January 15, 2002, at 0:24:59
In reply to Re: How does this happen? slowly over time or some .. » spike4848, posted by bob on January 15, 2002, at 0:12:09
Hey Bob,
Seems we have been runing into each other alot on p-babble. How are you feeling? Decide on a med yet?
Spike
Posted by bob on January 15, 2002, at 0:32:58
In reply to Re: How does this happen? slowly over time or some .. » bob, posted by spike4848 on January 15, 2002, at 0:24:59
Not really. I'm brainstorming this week on possible contingencies in the event the latest idea from my pdoc doesn't work: coming off all meds very slowly in concert with intense psychotherapy. I am tapering off of 50mg of Luvox but keeping .5mg of Clonazepam for now. I don't even know if I'll make it off the Luvox.
I share your feelings about how sometimes you'd rather have one of the "other diseases" instead. Having a disease of the mind has to be the worst. I know many wouldn't agree, but I'll say it until the end. Not only does it take away your health, it takes away your ability to fight and have a positive attitude. It takes away every weapon you have. Also, like you said, we don't really get credit for our suffering, since it's always a debate as to what the is caused by the disease, and what is caused by a perceived lack of will power, or our own doing. There's no "convincing" of others that has to be done with the physical diseases.
Posted by IsoM on January 15, 2002, at 0:34:33
In reply to Re: How depressed are YOU? » IsoM, posted by Mags on January 14, 2002, at 23:36:43
Actually, I don't ever let it get to that point any more (real bad). If I begin to notice the symptoms even starting a little (not caring whether I'm showered & clean), not wanting to answer the phone, having a bright sunny day & wishing it was raining so I'd have an excuse to crawl back into bed, blah, blah) I spring into action - okay, ooze into action, is more like it.
We all have down days but if it lasts longer than a few days, I get worried. As long as a week & I know I better get working on it before I get bad & don't care. It's weird. When I get real low, I'm too apathetic to do anything. I 'know' in my mind that being depressed isn't normal, but in my 'heart' when I'm depressed, I consider feeling normal & good to be fake & phony. It feels like fluff - cotton candied moods only.
The action I take isn't always much. Sometimes it's just forcing myself out to friends when I don't want to go but they want to see me. Or checking if I've been watching too many bleak newstories or depressing bleak shows. I'll put on perky cheerful music (music makes me dance very easily) or get outside more, even in winter. Doing those things feels so very unnatural at the time, but I force myself to. Especially the music - happy music sounds mindless to me then but after listening to it for a while, it does help. And lots & lots of singing. I feel singing heals my soul.
If small changes like this don't help, I get to my doctor & tell him something needs adjusting. We go over what's working & add and/or subtract meds.
I'm glad to say that adrafinil has made things much better for me. Generally, winters are hell for me & it takes all I can to fight them. I refuse to up my dosage of ADs for winter as tapering off for spring & summer would be hell. This winter, adrafinil has tided me nicely through it so far.
It's like the first tiny bit of scratchy throat or 'punky' tired feeling you might notice before you get a cold. I keep a close eye on warning signals that show my depression to be getting worse.
Sorry for the long post - I really do have verbal diarrhea.
****************************************************************************************************
> > I try to keep an eye on myself because while I have a strong network of friends/family that cares, I reject everybody when I get that low. So as soon as the bleaknees & irritability start, I do something about it.
>
> Iso,
> Thanks for the insight ..I really understand what you are explaining. You said when you get to the point were things are really bad "You do something about it"...If you don't mind me asking, what do you do???
> Thanks!
Posted by spike4848 on January 15, 2002, at 0:47:45
In reply to Re: How does this happen? slowly over time or some .. » spike4848, posted by bob on January 15, 2002, at 0:32:58
> > Not really. I'm brainstorming this week on possible contingencies in the event the latest idea from my pdoc doesn't work: coming off all meds very slowly in concert with intense psychotherapy.
>
> Does that help ..... intense p-therapy? Hey, how about ECT .... I have strongly been considering that .... no meds, no only small memory loss if done correctly .... what do you think?
>
>
> It takes away every weapon you have. Also, like you said, we don't really get credit for our suffering, since it's always a debate as to what the is caused by the disease, and what is caused by a perceived lack of will power, or our own doing. There's no "convincing" of others that has to be done with the physical diseases.
>
> Exactly, even my mother with depression does not want to validate my depression. She was started on impramine and has done well for 20 years. She tell me to pull myself up by the boot straps.
>
> Spike
Posted by bob on January 15, 2002, at 0:59:19
In reply to Doing something, at least for me » Mags, posted by IsoM on January 15, 2002, at 0:34:33
Are you in the US? If so, how do you get Adrafanil if it's not FDA approved?
Posted by bob on January 15, 2002, at 1:11:33
In reply to Re: How does this happen? slowly over time or some .. » bob, posted by spike4848 on January 15, 2002, at 0:47:45
> > Does that help ..... intense p-therapy? Hey, how about ECT .... I have strongly been considering that .... no meds, no only small memory loss if done correctly .... what do you think?I laughed out loud when I saw your question about p-therapy! Seems you and I share a little cynicism?
ECT seems so final. I hear all kinds of different things about the outcomes. There's no guarantee on the amount of memory loss. Seems some are not even remotely happy about the amount of memory loss - and the beneficial effects don't last. Ironically, many of the negative testamonials I've read do admit that ECT brought them back from the abyss. Another thing that bothers me is that I'm seeing a well respected p-doc in my area (who is so successful he doesn't deal with insurance anymore and still has WAAAAYY too many patients who want to see him) and he hasn't suggested ECT outright to me. I've also been to two consultations at Hopkins, and they don't seem to be pushing it either. They admitted it is among the options, but it doesn't last. That tells me that most doctors are reserving it for truly desperate patients in hospitals.
> >> > Exactly, even my mother with depression does not want to validate my depression. She was started on impramine and has done well for 20 years. She tell me to pull myself up by the boot straps.
My mother and sister don't share the severity of my affliction (or maybe they don't share my treatment resistance/intolerance), although they both suffer somewhat. As a result, they often are perplexed by my behavior. I think everybody who's reasonably mentally healthy looks at the behavior of other people and an internal comparison is made to what they themselves would say or do. When someone does something that doesn't make sense to them, they think, "Gee, I wouldn't ever do that... why do they? Surely they should be able to control themselves or modify their behavior." This even goes for people who have behavioral problems in a certain area, but observe another persons problems they can't relate to.
> >
> > Spike
Posted by IsoM on January 15, 2002, at 1:13:52
In reply to Not sure what to do next ..... » IsoM, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 23:41:38
Spike, I'm not in a position to advise anyone but you haven't given the SSRIs much of a try. Any reason? Some of them didn't work for me & some of them had side-effects too, too strong for me to tolerate, but right now Celexa is doing nicely (along with adrafinil).
For me, Celexa has been the best - lowest amount of side-effects (actually none I know of) & a pretty rapid response time. The adrafinil (for you, Provigil) is a wonderful addition to really make everything good. It seems to have over-all brain metabolism boosting power. (Sounds like some detergent commercial.)
If there isn't a reason you haven't tried more of the SSRIs, why not?
> Here is the list:>
> Imipramine to 300 mg/day - minimal response
> effexor to 350 mg/day - minimal response
> Wellbutrin to 300 mg/day - anxiety
> Imipramine and Lithium - worked ... used for 3 years, side effects of severe memory impairment, sexual dysfunction, tremor, sedation
> Remeron and Lithium - minimal response
> Nardil 60 mg/day - worked ... used for 4 years on and off .... but weight gain, sexual dysfunction, insomnia, memory problems
> Zoloft to 250 mg/day - minimal response
> Pamelor to 150 mg/day - minimal response
> Lamictal to 400 mg/day - minimal response
> Lamictal and ritalin - minimal response
> Lithium to 900 mg/day - minimal response
>
> * all the above are with 0.5 mg/day klonopin for panic attacks
>
> So really only Nardil and Imipramine/lithium have worked
>
> With Nardil my mood is actually 100% .... but I gain 35 lbs, impotent/decreased libdo, memory loss, insomnia (need ambien or no sleep all night) ..... so recently with all the weight gain I was getting afraid of developing diabetes and was tired of all the side effects .... so I tried lithium thinking maybe I am a soft bipolar(failing multiple antidepressants, atypical depression, have one relative with bipolar disease) ..... at 900 mg/day minimal effect .... I tried to go higher but had problems with vomiting
>
> So now I am considering
>
> 1. Back to Nardil with its side effects
> 2. Try Parnate
> 3. Try SSRI + lithium augmentation
> 4. Try Pamelor + zoloft
> 5. Provigil
>
> Don't know which way to turn .....
>
> Spike
Posted by ST on January 15, 2002, at 1:41:36
In reply to How depressed are YOU?, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 19:29:53
Hi, Spike -
I agree, maybe you should take a look at some of the SSRIs. Celexa might work well.
But your subject - how depressed do I get? You are not alone in feeling that crappy. When I'm depressed I:...Sleep 12-16 hours
...NEVER answer the phone
...Either cry constantly or feel nothing
...Feel immensely overwhelmed; as if there is no way out and no point
...Constantly think of suicide and then get even more depressed that I would never have the energy or nerve to do it
...Call in sick for work day after day
...Am irritated with people who find joy in small things, or a comedy on TV or simply at the thought that there are people out there who don't lie in bed for 6 hours contemplating whether or not they should get up to brush their hair
...Drink too muchSo that's what happens to me. Luckily my depression has been kept in check with a cocktail of sorts:
Depakote, 500 mg.,
Wellbutrin 300 mg.
and now Effexor SR 225mg.
Before Effexor I was on Celexa, which was great, except that I gained weight. That's not always so for everyone, however.
I've always wondered, as well, if I suffer more than the next depressed person out there.
Good luck,
Sarah
> Sometimes I read other posts are feel like I am cursed with depression plus. Off nardil ....
>
> I sleep 16 hours a day
> Feel like I have 100 lbs weights on my feet
> Can't taste food
> Have no sense of smell
> Can't drag myself out of my apartment
> Can't drag myself to eat
> Don't answer the phone
> Can't smile
> Never see my friends
>
> Basically sit in bed and obsess about how terrible I feel
>
> I see other's who say there depressed say things like, I cry alot (.... I wish I could feel anything, even sadness) or can't have difficulties at work or have problem with anger.
>
> Do you guy here feel more like me ... dead to the world, or like the people I described above .... sad and angry.
>
> Spike
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