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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 56. Go back in thread:
Posted by karen_kay on April 18, 2007, at 5:57:32
In reply to dead kitten triggers..., posted by karen_kay on April 17, 2007, at 21:23:15
what do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls?
sparky.
Posted by Phil on April 18, 2007, at 6:25:15
In reply to and a dog...., posted by karen_kay on April 18, 2007, at 5:57:32
Just what I needed first thing in the morning.
Posted by karen_kay on April 18, 2007, at 7:39:15
In reply to lmao, posted by Phil on April 18, 2007, at 6:25:15
what do you do with a dog with no legs?
take him for a drag.
where do you find a dog with no legs?the same place you left him.
how do you make a dead dog float?add ice cream and root beer.
and yes, all dogs are male (or is it the other way around? heavens no!).
Posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 8:29:00
In reply to dogs w/ no legs.... not for the civil!, posted by karen_kay on April 18, 2007, at 7:39:15
Actually I wish I didn't read this thread. Maybe I am just too sensitive and love animals.
Posted by Toph on April 18, 2007, at 9:19:32
In reply to Jokes!!! Got any?, posted by Phil on April 17, 2007, at 19:24:15
A young farm lad from rural Wisconsin goes off to college in Madison, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy...
"Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here at Wisconsin that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.
"So how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"
"Just send $1,500, I'll get him in the class."His father sends the money.
The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So the student shoots the dog.
When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited. "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives in town?'"
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"Thatta boy!"
(The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.......)
Posted by Klavot on April 18, 2007, at 10:11:53
In reply to Re: Lawyer joke, posted by Toph on April 18, 2007, at 9:19:32
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are riding on a train through the Scottish countryside when they see a black cow grazing in the fields. The engineer says: "Hmmm - I see Scottish cows are black." The phycisist replies: "You mean some Scottish cows are black." The mathematician interrupts them both: "All we can say for sure is that there exists at least one cow in Scotland, at least one side of which is black."
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding its breath.Klavot
Posted by Gee on April 18, 2007, at 10:54:47
In reply to More jokes, posted by Klavot on April 18, 2007, at 10:11:53
What's big, green, and if it falls out of a tree it'd kill you?
A pool table
Posted by scratchpad on April 18, 2007, at 13:21:18
In reply to :( sorry this stuff isn't funny to me, posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 8:29:00
That's why there are trigger warnings in the headers. We have to keep ourselves safe, HF.
sp
Posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 15:29:20
In reply to Re: :( sorry this stuff isn't funny to me » Happyflower, posted by scratchpad on April 18, 2007, at 13:21:18
I am not triggered by the jokes, I just find the jokes offensive. What if I made jokes about a child molester and put a trigger warning on it. Would that be seen in the same light as animal cruelity?
Whether or not there is a trigger warning, some jokes are just unappropiate for a site like this one in my view. Talking about abusing animals is not much different than joking about harming anyone. Just because there is a trigger warning doesn't mean that it isn't uncivil.
Posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 15:36:42
In reply to Re: :( sorry this stuff isn't funny to me » scratchpad, posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 15:29:20
Plus I wanted to add that if this is the kind of humor that people enjoy on these boards,and it is allowed, then this not a place for me to be anymore.
I am sorry I can't just stand back and allow joking about animal cruelity, it is against the law for a reason, and joking about hurting anything is not a site I want to be part of.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 18, 2007, at 15:47:16
In reply to Re: :( sorry this stuff isn't funny to me, posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 15:36:42
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#help-enforce
Please use this tool for voicing concerns about specific posts rather than post them on the boards. It is no longer within site guidelines to post questions or comments about whether a post is or is not civil.
namasté
gg, acting as deputy
Posted by scratchpad on April 18, 2007, at 15:50:28
In reply to Re: :( sorry this stuff isn't funny to me » scratchpad, posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 15:29:20
I think that we can rule out jokes of any kind on the grounds of cruelty. Blonde jokes, anyone?
A joke is "on" someone. It takes advantage of someone else; points out their deficits. A joke is inherently cruel. I don't always have a good sense of humour.I have trouble with racist jokes, so I don't read them. Luckily, they aren't socially acceptable in most places anymore so it's not an issue.
sp
Posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 15:50:46
In reply to Happily, there's an avenue for your action » Happyflower, posted by gardenergirl on April 18, 2007, at 15:47:16
Thank you for saying something about me posting something wrong.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 18, 2007, at 16:10:07
In reply to sorry I was uncivil, + rule breaker, goodbye » gardenergirl, posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 15:50:46
Pardon?
Where in my words does it say *you* did anything wrong?
Posted by kninelover on April 18, 2007, at 17:23:50
In reply to Happily, there's an avenue for your action » Happyflower, posted by gardenergirl on April 18, 2007, at 15:47:16
we need a clear and numbered list of things we can post about..
1. cup cakes
2. flannel pillow cases..
anything thing else? :)†
Posted by Phillipa on April 18, 2007, at 21:08:55
In reply to what is needed.... » gardenergirl, posted by kninelover on April 18, 2007, at 17:23:50
Animal unkindness jokes offend me too. Love Phillipa
Posted by karen_kay on April 18, 2007, at 22:20:48
In reply to :( sorry this stuff isn't funny to me, posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 8:29:00
i did marry one in fact. and i do own a baby duckie.
it's only a joke dear. it doesn't mean i'm actually doing it, encouraging anyone to do it, would think it funny if someone were to do it (of course, if i did have a dog with metal b@lls, i suppose i'd be tempted to name him sparky, but if my husband had them, i'd probably call him sparky. i wonder if that's how chevy chase got his nickname in nat'l lampoon series'?)...
anywhooo... it's all in good fun. i assure you, i've never endangered an animal. i adore animals. i've never even hit one on the road and always swerve to miss them. (and once my dog caught a squirrel and i cried for several days about it.) just making jokes doesn't really make me all that twisted now does it?
i make jokes about taking insurance policies out on my mother. that doesn't mean i want anythign to happen to her. (ok, maybe that's not so true.) see, that's another joke!
Posted by karen_kay on April 18, 2007, at 22:26:12
In reply to what is needed.... » gardenergirl, posted by kninelover on April 18, 2007, at 17:23:50
3. tell me we can still post about locking mister bob in the basement. if not, them i'm out for real this time :)
4. r j reynolds (my personal hero)
5. klonopin
6. toilet paper and underpants
those are my stipulations
and i must must must still be able to use the word HUSSY!!!!
are those all legal you think?
Posted by zenhussy on April 18, 2007, at 22:29:14
In reply to Re: what is needed.... » kninelover, posted by karen_kay on April 18, 2007, at 22:26:12
Posted by karen_kay on April 18, 2007, at 23:05:51
In reply to trail mix, a bag of undies and hussy-all u need! (nm) » karen_kay, posted by zenhussy on April 18, 2007, at 22:29:14
don't tempt me! mr kk left speedign off tonight (spinnign tires and all, jerk! and yes, i can be completely uncivil to my husband if i want to be. he's lucky... no the readers are lucky i didn't make a reference to lionel richey right now.....)
someone, come get me right this very second! a duckie only eats worms and i'm not eating much of anything (but i do need coffee. will work for it though). actually, someone jst give me an addy and i'll be there. i swear, i'll be good company and will show (lack of) boobs upon request (come on! i've typed that here easily 15, 000 times and never heard a word about it).
i need a vacation
i need a vacation
i need a vacation
i'm going crazy
i'm going crazy
i'm going crazyis it uncivil now to say that i'm going crazy or can i jsut say i'm going nuts? oh wait, are nuts uncivil too? balls......
hey, good news though.... i found my makeup, so i don't look like a zombie anymore. ok, only a part-dead zombie.
Posted by verne on April 19, 2007, at 0:28:00
In reply to sorry I was uncivil, + rule breaker, goodbye » gardenergirl, posted by Happyflower on April 18, 2007, at 15:50:46
thanks for both, HappyFlower!
Posted by karen_kay on April 19, 2007, at 6:48:46
In reply to Re: Lawyer joke, posted by Toph on April 18, 2007, at 9:19:32
are you sure they weren't from indiana though?
i vaguely remember college. sometimes you just have to cover your tracks, eh?
and how is toph? better than that poor doggie, i hope.....
Posted by Toph on April 19, 2007, at 11:41:04
In reply to a talking dog and a lawyer? » Toph, posted by karen_kay on April 19, 2007, at 6:48:46
Hey kk,
I'm fine. I have dogs and would never shoot one even to get out of a lie. I dread the day when my dogs will reach the Old Yeller stage. I would shoot a lawyer though. Jus kiddin. Anyway, I've heard that laughter is a good thing, even therapeutic. Offending people is a bad thing, so its probably best to warn people when jokes are about religion, politics, gender, race, class, physical appearance, illness and pets. I guess that pretty much leaves us with just f@rt jokes. They can be pretty funny though.
I'll get one last dog joke out of the way here, I last told it a couple years ago...
I was in one of my favorite bars the other night and the bartenter said, "Toph, you're a good drinker, how about one of my famous triple martinis?"
I reply, "No, Joe, I can drink with the best of them, but that triple martini is too much for me."
So Joe says, "Come on Toph, you can handle it."
I reply, "You know, the last time I had that damn triple martini, I went home and blew chunks!"
Joe insists, "I still think you can handle this drink, Toph."
So I say, "You don't seem to understand, Joe, my dog's name is chunks!"
Have a fun day kk.
Toph
Posted by Gabbi-2 on April 19, 2007, at 19:15:49
In reply to Sincerity + Truth, posted by verne on April 19, 2007, at 0:28:00
Posted by Happyflower on April 19, 2007, at 20:43:04
In reply to Re: Sincerity + Truth or... stirfry?? (nm) » verne, posted by Gabbi-2 on April 19, 2007, at 19:15:49
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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