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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 74 to 98 of 299. Go back in thread:
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 13:01:46
In reply to Re: Historical Curator -Shar!!!!, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 10:23:42
Sterling CPE,
I am once again astonished at the level of attunement you and I have. It is as if our lumps were connected; for having read her posts, I too envisioned Shar as the worthy preserver of our Hysterical heritage. It is as though together, you and I make a whole wit. I could not do without you.
I feel like song..."Oh, say can you see..."!
Appreciatively yours,
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 13:14:06
In reply to Lump-Blob Culture ?, posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 10:43:50
> would it be OK to include both cultures in the sacred texts? It seems that one is more "at home" (Lump) and the other "external to home" (Blob) which information would be a goddess-send to many of us who haven't made it to full-fledged Blobism yet.
It seems to the Ambassador, that an understanding of Lumptonian hysteria would not be complete without including the roles our neighboring states have played in forming it.
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 13:22:15
In reply to Re: Lumps MUST emerge briefly on Election Day, posted by noa on November 6, 2000, at 12:17:38
Noa,
Thank you for reminding that the vote must take precedence over other matters this week.
Voting will also allow me to remain in my socks, underwear and quilt as well as defer my other duties until nest week. Even now, I am dropping my Voter Registration Card down the front of my shorts.
The best ideas always look good from many different angles.
Yours,
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 13:27:39
In reply to Re: Chocolate Survival Strategy--PS » B Day, posted by Greg on November 6, 2000, at 12:54:23
The Havenmaster speaks with the heart of a Lumptonian!
Ambassador B
Posted by Emmanuela on November 6, 2000, at 14:16:34
In reply to Re: Chocolate Survival Strategy--PS LOL » Greg, posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 13:27:39
I think there is a Council Meeting which needs to take place. My WH (thanks coral) has been interferring, grossly, with this Lumptonian. I woke feeling awful, and he had the audacity to gently suggest that I go for a walk (can you imagine??) in the woods in the dappled morning sunshine, and before that, mixed up the vitamin/mineral formula we take with juice and handed it to me. Is this not cruelty?? And THEN, if all those things weren't enough, he kindly urged me, no, not even urged, he actually encouraged me to take 1/2 xanax to, in his words, .."nip it in the bud." So I went for my walk, and managed, during sobbing aloud, my body slightly bent over, to have my arms hanging down in front of me, (the official walking Lumptonian position) thinking of the utter cruelty being wrested upon me - I mean, is is not enough that I'm crying about how one morning can be fine and dandy and the next coral's cellar devils are attacking my brain. I know I can't call the Lumptonian police on my WH, because no one would answer the phone. And now my WH has the unmitigated gall to come into my office and SUGGEST (hah!) that I get outside and into the sunshine and away from the computer. I need a High Council Meeting to tell me what to do, since I, a true Lumptonian, can't figure it out for myself, or even if I could, wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
And as I write this, I'm thinking of how I could get a clone out into the sunshine, planting bulbs, and leave me the hell alone in here with my comforting Lumptonian Nation.
Posted by Angela5 on November 6, 2000, at 16:00:34
In reply to urgent (sic) request for High Council Meeting, posted by Emmanuela on November 6, 2000, at 14:16:34
I'd like to join Lumptonia, but only if I can stay in the comfort of my bed; the couch is ALL the way down the stairs. Stairs bear too strong of a resemblance to actual exercise...ugh.
I do have some contributing suggestions... First, groceries are easily delivered via homegrocer.com (part of webvan.com), peapod.com, etc., although admittedly, their areas are limited.
The best thing, however, if you live in a supporting area, is Kozmo.com. I used them when I lived in Seattle; whoever created that company should be an Honorary Lumptonian. You can order videos/DVDs to be delivered to your door within an hour. No more going to Blockbuster, no more getting off the couch (that house was ranch style so that I could make it from the bed to the couch without stairs - whew!). The best part is - are you ready for this - they deliver cool stuff like toilet paper and Ben and Jerry's, both of which are necessities. I miss Kozmo.com...
Petsmart.com delivers dog food, and if you wait for a buy-one-get-one-free sale, you can even avoid having to lug it in off the porch very often. An essential for that ongoing petly support...
Might mouse-clicks (or remote clicks) become the only acceptable "exercise" in your amazing Nation? In the words of Dilbert, "Still Pumped from Using the Mouse."
Humbly requesting admittance,
Angela
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 16:33:04
In reply to urgent (sic) request for High Council Meeting, posted by Emmanuela on November 6, 2000, at 14:16:34
Precious E,
Reading the account of your horrific experience has left me shivering. The nerve of some of your WH. Especially the way he was kind and encouraging. That sounds pretty sneaky to me.
Be watchful of him lest he beguile you!
B
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 16:56:07
In reply to Questions about Lumptonia, posted by Angela5 on November 6, 2000, at 16:00:34
Sweet Angela, our little lost sheep,
On behalf of all Lumptonians let me say...
Welcome Home! It is clear you belong with us.
Let me say also, that it is insightful observations and suggestions like yours that will help our great nation to flourish.
And yes, you have guessed correctly that we endeavor to reduce the suffering of necessity for our people down to a few mouse clicks. At least until the new Optical Controller Displays and Implants are available. Then we'll only have to twitch our eyeballs and blink a bit. This will be so naturally Lumptonian.
You emissary and advocate,
B, the Lumptonian Ambassador
Posted by Noa on November 6, 2000, at 17:07:16
In reply to Re: Questions about Lumptonia » Angela5, posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 16:56:07
> Sweet Angela, our little lost sheep,
>
> On behalf of all Lumptonians let me say...
>
> Welcome Home! It is clear you belong with us.
>
> Let me say also, that it is insightful observations and suggestions like yours that will help our great nation to flourish.
>
> And yes, you have guessed correctly that we endeavor to reduce the suffering of necessity for our people down to a few mouse clicks. At least until the new Optical Controller Displays and Implants are available. Then we'll only have to twitch our eyeballs and blink a bit. This will be so naturally Lumptonian.
>
> You emissary and advocate,
>
> B, the Lumptonian Ambassador
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 17:22:37
In reply to Re: Question: what does WH stand for? (np), posted by Noa on November 6, 2000, at 17:07:16
I believe it is for "Wonderful Husband" Noa. Which I suppose makes it a branch of the SO species.
Am B
Posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 17:34:54
In reply to Re: Question: what does WH stand for? (np) » Noa, posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 17:22:37
Dear Noa,
As our Wonderful Ambassador mentioned, WH is for Wonderful Husband, a designation earned from years of practicing wonderful husbanding, and he (my WH) was the originator of the Lump Person designation.
Certainly, a species of SO, too!
Posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 18:16:55
In reply to urgent (sic) request for High Council Meeting, posted by Emmanuela on November 6, 2000, at 14:16:34
My dearest Emmanuella,
You poor dear!!!! (I'd wondered where the cellar devils had gone . . . )
Remember, as a true Lumptonian, we must always seek to see true value - he BROUGHT you sustenance! Even though it was filled with those icky vitamins and mineral thingies, this was a task YOU did not have to complete. Such overtures by WH's, a sub-species of SO, are best appreciated.
It's also good that he is aware of the meds so he understands that those little pill bottles are NOT to be discarded for ANY reason, even empty ones, regardless of how many pile up.
My WH also suggests forays into the sunlight (I am quite surprised I haven't burst into flames yet), and I've found that a compromise works, if the tried-and-true delaying tactics fail. If he suggests a hour outside, you counter with 3 minutes. Done properly, you may find yourself off the couch for a mere ten minutes.
But, as our glorious Ambassador pointed out, WH's are known for their sneakiness. It was just a few weeks ago when my WH suggested a walk to the corner store (only a block away) and I agreed. Then, he said we'd take the back way home, a SHORT CUT, he said. Being blinded by the sunlight and exhausted from the exertion, I numbly nodded and trailed behind until he gently took my hand which sped up my gait! (Talk about double sneaky). WELL, his short cut was an extra TEN blocks!!!!!!!
Did the Xanax work? Sometimes our SO's or WH's can make a suggestion like that and it turns out to be RIGHT! Cellar devils are NOT to be battled alone.
Of course, a High Council Meeting would be appropriate but I doubt that we could coordinate the napping, quasi-waking, sobbing, or pupating of the members.
I must ask our esteemed Ambassador about Lumptonian police! If they don't exist, maybe they should, and couldn't they be trained to exterminate cellar devils?
Remember, too, that Lumptonia is a state of mind, often a wonderful place to avoid pain. Pain isn't an objective of Lumptonia, although it's often the catalyst that transports many of our wonderful, glorious, esteemed citizenry to Lumptonia.
Those nasty, rotten cellar devils! I am so sorry they escaped and attacked. Not for anything would I inflict pain on a sister Lumptonian!!!
Perhaps your WH and my WH should chat (unless you think they'd conspire!!!!).
I hope as the darkness of night falls, you're safe in your banky, clutching your sacred pillow, and know that all Lumptonia comforts you.
Coral
Posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 18:27:13
In reply to Re: urgent (sic) request for High Council Meeting, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 18:16:55
My dearest Emmanuella,
I forgot to mention that, at the MOMENT, I am attempting to go medication-less and the cellar devils are still dancing the dervish in the night with me, which of course disturbs the sleep of my WH.
So, my WH doesn't have all of that excessive energy he normally does. Being a bit depleted keeps him from interfering with my practicing of Lumptonian time-honored rituals.
Coral
Posted by Emmanuela on November 6, 2000, at 18:29:51
In reply to Re: urgent (sic) request for High Council Meeting, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 18:16:55
Coral - if you're nearby, wanna mosey to the chat room?Emmanuela
Posted by Emmanuela on November 6, 2000, at 18:37:51
In reply to Re: urgent (sic) request for High Council Meeting, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 18:16:55
Just reading about the darkness of light falling, or was it darkness of night - I remember now the poet Naruda telling us: we must sit on the edge of the well of darkness, and fish for light, or something like that. If it was actually that, he probably wouldn't be as famous as he is. Train of thought has slipped, or slept - I remember: the darkness falling - time to reach a trembling hand to break in half (do I have the energy, the willpower?) a little xanax, which actually belongs on the other BB. And all silly aside, whenever I've ever participated in a chat room, or BB, I've always been the funniest, smartest, and cleverest. And I have truly not only been matched, but have been surpassed - the wit, humor, intelligence, and any number of other things I'm sure, is ...lost the train....I better get the xanax or I'll be feeling intimidated actually.
Emmanuela
Posted by Greg on November 6, 2000, at 19:32:45
In reply to Re: WH = Wonderful Husband, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 17:34:54
And here I was hoping it stood for "Wonderful Havenmaster".... oh well.
> Dear Noa,
>
> As our Wonderful Ambassador mentioned, WH is for Wonderful Husband, a designation earned from years of practicing wonderful husbanding, and he (my WH) was the originator of the Lump Person designation.
>
> Certainly, a species of SO, too!
Posted by S. Howard on November 6, 2000, at 19:51:41
In reply to Re: WH = Wonderful Husband » coral, posted by Greg on November 6, 2000, at 19:32:45
Fellow Lumps:
FINALLY< Lumptonian weather is here! This means less shaving, big sweats, bulky sweaters, flannel robes, comforters, and more excuses not to go outside...all that stuff so precious to us.
Another tip:
Coffee-hounds like me (not to worry-I'm immune to caffeine)should find great pleasure in chocolate-covered coffeebeans - you get your chocolate, your caffeine and your sugar all in one little box, no fuss. The problem is getting them from Starbucks or B&N to your couch. I'm still working on that one. SGH
Posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 20:45:32
In reply to Re: WH = Wonderful Husband » coral, posted by Greg on November 6, 2000, at 19:32:45
Oh, Dear Sir Greg,
WH certainlly does mean Wonderful Havenmaster, too!!!!
Sterling CPE
Posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 20:50:38
In reply to cellar devil exterminators - Coral, posted by Emmanuela on November 6, 2000, at 18:29:51
Dear Emmanuela,
I'd love to mosey to a chat room..... you'll have to lead the way!!! Isn't there a chat room attached somewhere to the safe haven? I am a computer idjit and my WH is also my CW (computer wizard!)
Coral
Posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 20:58:58
In reply to Let us Celebrate, posted by S. Howard on November 6, 2000, at 19:51:41
Dear SGH,
YES!!!!!!!!!! ::::thinks about dancing wildly about the room -- thinks again:::::
For me, the only problem is that my WH thrives on sunlight so as the season darkens, he and I both think hibernating thoughts, which leads to interactivity on the couch which I think might be in violation of Lumptonian conduct!
In fact, his need for sunlight drives me out-of-doors so he can get his batteries recharged. Now if that's not a conflict of Lumptonian thoughts, I just don't know what is!!!!!!
Sterling CPE
Posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 21:34:12
In reply to Re: Chocolate Survival Strategy--PS » noa, posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 12:26:59
As Chocolate appears to be the national food of Lumptonia, it is only proper to acknowledge the citizenry who wear the badge of honor thereof, including the Ambassador himself: Sticky Brown Lips.
This can be accomplished by usual methods of chocolate eating (the kind that melts on your mouth), by eating but not inhaling Nestle Quik out of the can, or, as our Ambassador has indicated, by swigging directly from a container of chocolate syrup.
The Right Honorable Historical Curator
Shar (LOL at your post, B)> > > >If there's no other chocolate in the house, you can eat Nestle's Quik out of the can, but don't breathe in when you do.
> >
> >
> > I also meant to say that this one made me really laugh out loud!
>
> Noa,
>
> The ambassador has often found it handy to keep a small bottle of Hersey's Syrup in his back pocket for "swigging".
>
> However, this practive has been widely disdained by those from THAT state. What do they call themselves? Normals? How bizarre.
>
> Smiling with you with sticky brown lips,
>
> Ambassador B
Posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 22:09:32
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 20:58:58
Because Lumptonia will never have an offical dance, except for dancing around issues having to do with getting away from the couch, the discovery of a description of the official walking posture replaces all other forms of ambulation.
As curator, I found this extremely important to include for those few brave Lumptonians who venture (gasp) out of doors. Some may not know the posture and want to practice. For others, who live with Normals, they should know they are not alone in suffering at the hands of their loving and well-intentioned others. This description is from one who suffered greatly one morning:
"So I went for my walk, and managed, during sobbing aloud, my body slightly bent over, to have my arms hanging down in front of me, (the official walking Lumptonian position)..."
The sobbing is officially optional, but suggested.
The Right Honorable Hysterical Curator,
Shar
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:17:31
In reply to The Official Lumptonian Walk, posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 22:09:32
Permanently re-formed by his couch, the Ambassador has pretty much returned to knuckle-walking.
However, he has found the new shape to be excellent for perusing the refrigerator.
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:27:44
In reply to The Custom of the Sticky Brown Lips, posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 21:34:12
> As Chocolate appears to be the national food of Lumptonia, it is only proper to acknowledge the citizenry who wear the badge of honor thereof, including the Ambassador himself: Sticky Brown Lips.
>Thank you Shar,
You are absolutely right. Sticky Brown Lips are the lips of Lumptonia!
I would like to remind our people how vastly superior that is to the Sticky Brown Noses so commonly found among the Normals.
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:44:42
In reply to Let us Celebrate, posted by S. Howard on November 6, 2000, at 19:51:41
> Fellow Lumps:
> FINALLY< Lumptonian weather is here! This means less shaving, big sweats, bulky sweaters, flannel robes, comforters, and more excuses not to go outside...all that stuff so precious to us.
>Indeed the Lumping season is upon us. SGH, You read the skies as though you are reading the mind of our nation.
> Another tip:
> Coffee-hounds like me (not to worry-I'm immune to caffeine)should find great pleasure in chocolate-covered coffeebeans - you get your chocolate, your caffeine and your sugar all in one little box, no fuss. The problem is getting them from Starbucks or B&N to your couch. I'm still working on that one. SGHCOFFEE PILLS!!! Out-fucking-standing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooops!!! It appears the Ambassador took too much citalopram this morning. He hopes the people can forgive him for his fowl-mouthed outburst.
Hunkering down in embarrassment,
Ambassador B
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