Posted by Joan797 on July 30, 2006, at 21:34:07
In reply to Missed Call, posted by Joan797 on July 30, 2006, at 8:42:13
She told herself she wouldn't call.
She promissed her heart she would be strong.But she never wins that battle, she never does.
And so she calls, she feels the warmth welling up inside her stomach as she hears his voice.She cries silently as she listen to his words.
She pretends she isn't hurting.She lies to him and tells him she's just fine.
She lies to herself and says this is only a temporary fix for a life long hurt.The love junky takes control of her mind as she familiarizes herself with the fantasy. She caresses her heart, coaxes it into beating again for him. She'll quit tomorrow. She'll be better then. For now she needs one more fix. Please God, just one more fix.
She knows it will be short lived.
She gets her fix and she hangs up with her dignity intact, and yet, yet, her depression deepens as she feels the emptyness seep into her bones.And the tears roll down in waves....washing the smile off her face.
And a day of drinking and soothing the ache ensues. Eventually her mind is numb and she falsely believes that she is somebody. Somebody worthy of his love. In the back of her foggy mind she knows there is a window cracked open seeping reality in, but she turns away from it.
Morning will come soon enough.
poster:Joan797
thread:671973
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060722/msgs/672147.html