Posted by James K on May 9, 2006, at 10:13:08
I'm feeling sorry for myself. I need to move on. Nobody, including me, cares about what happended to me. I could be so much if I wasn't so worried about me. I'm too hard on myself, then I resent myself. I abuse myself, then have fear of myself. If I hadn't let the things I did to myself affect the way I respond to the things I do to myself, I wouldn't do the things to myself that cause me to have reactions to the things I do to myself. It's not my fault, how could I stop myself from doing to myself the things I did to myself. It's completely normal to respond to attacks from myself with attacks on myself. The truth is, I hate myself. I've done so much to hurt myself, how could I ever forgive myself? I don't deserve forgiveness. I live in fear. I did these things and now I have to suffer, but who pays for what I did to me? I need to get over it. Lot's of people have hurt themselves. As long as I let myself stay in my head, I'm still letting me hurt myself. I don't know that I have a grudge against myself. I've moved on with my life, and I'm still stuck in the past worried about the things I did to myself.
I must be missing something.
poster:James K
thread:641706
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060331/msgs/641706.html