Posted by caillou on August 26, 2005, at 8:21:26
Unresolved
I was going to call you,
I am not sure why,
What is left to say?
More truth and lies.I thought that I was special,
We seemed to cheer each other up,
Tears welled up in your eyes,
And you seemed very touched.What was all that about?
It could have been a game.
But what was the ultimate goal?
To drive me insane?I couldn’t stand your mood swings,
I didn’t seem to matter,
When you flashed your wedding ring,
You left my heart in tatters.Why were so indirect?
Is there something you were hiding?
Why couldn’t you treat me with more respect?
Or were you really lying?You know you really moved me,
I felt for you so much,
I trusted you so blindly,
Why couldn’t you return that trust?Was my letter that unnerving?
Were you expecting something else?
I gushed enough in my other letters.
I had to help myself.Do you really like your job?
Does it make you happy?
Do you feel like a fraud?
Stuck in a dead-end job.Do you have a conscience?
Can you control how you behave?
Or is everything unconscious?
Turning you into a slave.A slave to the past,
Is that what you are?
I just want the good feelings back,
Like I had before.How could you do that?
After all my honesty and trust,
Don’t I count for anything?
You don’t seem to hurt much.You said I couldn’t handle affection,
What exactly did you mean?
Affection from you or everyone else?
It wasn’t really clear.Were you making fun of me?
Was I your own private joke?
Or were you teasing me?
Not to help, but to provoke.Three months have rolled on by,
And I don’t feel much better,
I’ll still persevere; I’ll still try,
To test my mettle.You said you wouldn’t judge me,
But isn’t that what people do?
Are you really that objective?
Doesn’t it bother you?Do you ever miss me?
How much and for how long?
Were you bothered by my honesty?
Were my feelings really too strong?I thought that you would help me,
Control my emotions and my pain,
I didn’t want you to leave,
I wanted you to stay.It all ended so badly,
I was beside myself with grief,
Everything ended so sadly,
My heartache mixed with my relief.I don’t know why you acted like that,
I really wish I knew,
I will try not to look back,
And feel so sad and blue.Maybe you really are a drama queen,
And need to make a scene,
That seems a bit out of place,
And childish and mean.Well, if that is what you wanted,
That is what you got,
I hope you’re pleased with yourself,
That you terminated “on top.”
poster:caillou
thread:546865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050807/msgs/546865.html