Posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2005, at 17:47:13
In reply to Re: transference, posted by greyskyeyes on August 23, 2005, at 17:04:44
> because some of it was that I imagined he did things so much differently from me… he must be a better father than I am a mother… he must be so well adjusted… he and his wife probably never fight… stuff like that.
Yeah. That sounds a bit like idealisation. But then all you are doing is generalising from therapy context to other contexts. So its not like there is no basis in reality...
Its just that people do vary across contexts...
>he was so accepting and caring, and always heard me… experiences I never had growing up… he validated my feelings and explained my “crazy” behavior in a way to my husband that made sense, normalized it somehow.
Yeah. And so it isn't suprising that you'd fall for him.
> the fact that he's the most gorgeous man I've ever seen in my life didn't hurt either. ;)Heh heh. But then beauty is in the eye of the beholder too... I mean, I'm sure some of his other clients didn't feel that way.
> it’s funny, when you do meet the right person you idealize them… you know they’re the right person when the idealization wears off and you can still stand being with them. :)I'll try and remember that :-)'
> << its like how you can read case studies. and some people just seem so interesting and fascinating and complex and beautiful. more so than the rest of << us... but the case study is the therapists creation. and the story they tell about the client reveals more about the therapist than about the client. and <<some people who write case studies can spin beautiful stories... and others are more interested in making a point...
> wow, I never thought of it like that. I love reading case studies - I agree, they are fascinating… but I never thought of it as the creation of the therapist… you’re absolutely right.Yeah. Thats why I feel mad / sad when I read one and end up feeling negatively towards the client. Says more about the therapist but of course people tend to accept the therapists interpretation (not even realising its an interpretation) because they are supposed to be the authority. Grr.
>my pdoc likes to tell me about some of his (former) patients, and I always find his descriptions so interesting - and they always somehow make a point, even though he doesn’t explicitly state so. usually the point is that I’m not as crazy/ hopeless as I think. :)
Yeah. I think that is supposed to be the point of disclosing about other clients...
>I like your idea about a case study written by two different therapists regarding the same person, it probably *wouldn’t* be apparent that they are the same person.
Ah. Thats your idea :-)
My idea was about two different clients writing case studies of the same therapist ;-)
> hey I like “talking” with you alex… you’re a fascinating and complex person… and that’s not because of a skillful writer telling a story, I’m sure it’s quite true IRL. :)Thanks :-)
I like talking to you too
poster:alexandra_k
thread:543936
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050807/msgs/545777.html