Posted by AdaGrace on March 4, 2005, at 10:03:35
THE ESSENCE OF LONGING
Need oozes from my pores.
Wants and desires keep tumbling forth like a free flowing river.
The river goes nowhere though, flowing around in a circle, turning unto itself.New lovers come to my bed.
New feelings abound.
New desires, new experiences, but the same me.
They quench temporarily the deep seeded ache that your leaving left behind.
The ache returns, as always.
Full force, creating a greater longing than before.They touch me, they love me, they worship me.
They use me, they abuse me, they hurt me.
The give me what I deserve.
I give them what they want.
I take away my own pride.Memories bombard me when men touch me, pelting my broken heart.
Tender words.
Soft caressing touches.
Hot inflamed kisses.
Wickedly delicious impalement.
Sated sweaty lovers entwined, you and me.Memories change to speculations and fears.
Wild images of two lovers entwined, you and her.
Ugly jealousy grows inside my body.
The hurting begins.
The tears come.
The aching and the longing come crashing down.Wanting turns to hatred.
Screaming out loud, “No, she’s not me!”
“She’s never going to be like me, no matter how long you close your eyes and try!”
“How can you replace me with such a pale comparison to me?”Do you still love me?
Do you still dream of me like I dream of you?
Do you still ache for me?
Will you always, like I will for you?
Or has time rewritten our lives forever to never be?AdaGrace
3/4/05
poster:AdaGrace
thread:466410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/466410.html