Posted by Jai Narayan on August 27, 2004, at 10:36:10
In reply to Re: fiction ... Hungry Pavement, Part 1 » Jai Narayan, posted by Atticus on August 27, 2004, at 8:57:13
The second thing that strikes me is that I can see that poetry, not straight prose, is definitely my metier. You had mentioned rhythm in an earlier post, and I had said how important that was to me. The rhythm in this story feels really flat to me, just a kind of slogging along, tossing down plot points feel. Part of that was again no doubt due to my depression being on the verge of reaching a life-threatening flashpoint, but still, it's kind of lacking the kind of gallop even a genre piece of horror fiction should have, in my mind.
***I totally agree it did seem flat. Your current work is brilliantly full of life and emotion.
I still am curious where the story is going.
loved what you had to say about the juice being in relationship. I'd say you got that right. Did you know the sun sign Libra is all about relationships?
I also want to comment on your responses to my posts as well as others....your ability to connect inspires me.
You are so deep and complex in your responses. I love reading your posts. They are beautifully written.
Thanks.
poster:Jai Narayan
thread:382571
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20040729/msgs/382931.html