Posted by Meagan on September 10, 2007, at 11:13:28
After feeling wonderful for about 2 years on medications that seemed to give me a new lease on life and relief from my diagnosis of Bipolar II, rapid cycling, I decided to begin to try again, and look for a job that was appropriate to the level of my advanced degree, and more importantly with what I had hoped was my potential and promise as a young woman.
For years before my diagnosis, I had bounced around jobs, resigning when I felt I couldn't hold it together and then taking on jobs when I was feeling good.
But the good times just kept getting shorter and shorter, and soon I just couldn't do any work, except in my husband's business as a part-time secretary with no set hours - working as I could. I do not get paid and my self-esteem has suffered because of it even though I know I should be grateful for what I have.
But I was beginning to strive for a job again and happy to be feeling so good about it and myself.
The problem has been that I have now relapsed and I'm in a pretty dark place - I've not been taking showers in the morning and can't seem to do basic household chores.I don't think I can follow through on any of the inroads I was beginning to make (I was actually doing volunteer work in my field, outside of my husband's office, and making networks with people, which I desperately need).
Has anyone had this happen to them?
If you did, how did you keep going? Get back in the saddle again?
How do you keep the engine from stalling?
It seems everytime I begin to connect with people beyond the sphere of my husband and son which is something I know I need to do and want to do, I falter and can't continue. It's embarrassing to suddenly withdraw with no explanation, connections don't last when you disappear.
Meagan
poster:Meagan
thread:782005
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20061208/msgs/782005.html