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Re: Sh!t happens Toph

Posted by alexandra_k on September 14, 2018, at 20:05:28

In reply to Sh!t happens, posted by Toph on September 14, 2018, at 10:07:38

I hear a lot of people don't take well to retirement. Especially when they got a sense of doing something meaningful in their work. You were a social worker - yeah? Pretty sure I remember you saying. Saying something about how it was good to be able to help, sometimes. Yeah.

Maybe the dog is your wife's dog. Did she bring it home for you? Maybe you need to bring home your own dog. One you met that... Bonds with you.

> My wife is always complaining about stuff that I should be doing.

I hear that is what an 18 hole round of golf, is for.

Or hunting. Because that will require a hunting dog, I guess. Something... Uh... Legit. Not all fu fu. Or whatever.

Or fishing.

She might be trying to encourage you to... Take an interest in something. The nagging, I mean. Only... It's gotta come from you... I don't know what.

> Those youthful days of energy, ambition and passion seem depleted and irretrievably lost. My sister-in law is in a panic about losing her husband. Doesn't feel like I have the right to feel like I do but I do.

You feel the way you do. It can be hard to figure out what about the feeling is... Right... Though...

I read some stuff a while back and it was on emotions as a communicative device. The idea was that you communicate with others by displaying certain emotions. So, for example, if you display rage at an injustice then people will be less likely to mess with you (because your rage will incline you to harm them even at potential cost to yourself)... So... There could be a `reason' or a `rational rightness' behind a convincing display of an... Apparently `irrational' emotion.

And this sort of Machiavelli intent... This ideal of having precise control over what you `choose' to display / enact / act...

Disturbed me. To be honest.

I think... Emotions are more communicative... With respect to yourself. If that makes sense. You feeling a certain way is your bodies trying to tell you something about what it is that it needs. Sometimes the feeling is that something isn't quite right... Something... Needs to be differnet. But we don't know what. Hard to put a finger on it... What it is... What needs to be...

Sometimes I think it is a kind of... Repression. Or something. Because of the times in our life when we knew what it was or we had an inkling of what it was... And other people went `pooh pooh rubbish rubbish' maybe because it conflicted with what they wanted or needed or...

So I tend to think that there may be reason... Somewhere... That the feeling is... Leading you to search... For something... Something to give your life some meaning... Purpose... Direction... Something...

How about charity work? Do you have any former contacts of people you enjoyed working with, or something like that?

I honestly don't know.

But I think grieving is complicated. They say there are, like, 7 stages to it, or something. And it's a bit like Sims4 with too many moodbuffs and you flip between them unpredictably for a time... Denial and rage and despair and loss and... I don't remember.

I get that for most people grief is a... Public thing. A public process. Only, it's not, really. I mean... It is typical that the person most affected by it withdraws, really, and needs to work through things in their own pace at their own time in their own process. It's though further removed... Slighly further removed from that who it's more about the... Community. Communal aspect of the ritual and so on.

I don't know.

I was thinking about grieving and the loss of my Father a lot, yesterday. Brings up a lot for me doing philosophy again.

 

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