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Re: gangrenous foot

Posted by alexandra_k on September 2, 2017, at 22:19:38

In reply to Re: gangrenous foot, posted by alexandra_k on September 2, 2017, at 21:22:04

sigh.

i'm sorry. i'm just getting near the end of the year... a couple big tests this coming week and labs and so on... next couple months...

partly it's because i'm getting stressed... and what is best for me through the stress is solitude. but solitude is precisely what i don't have. and other people deal with stress by becoming more gregarious. so. listening to 12+ hours of white noise everyday upsets my vestibular system and makes my brain unhappy. the sound of abused children over the fence from 8:30am for much of every day also makes my brain unhappy. i don't think it is my imagination (though maybe it is) that the food is getting worse... more processed... and i've come to realise that the head of the hall here... doesn't have 'repeat back to me what i just said' kind of functionality... certainly isn't placed to be defending our interests... and then most of the kids here didn't make entry to university... they are here on some international program... sent by countries where we tried to poison kids in those countries (milk powder contamination with poision that made the protein content look higher on nutrient profiling). and now we've turned to poisoning our own, i'm sure. it's only supposed to be temporary... unless you didn't get out... in which case you deserve what you get, i'm sure.

getting away from the awful people. whoop whoop whoop. i don't know what to say. i feel like i was only put on this earth to suffer torment for much of the time. pretty sure when i was a kid i always screamed silently. maybe not. suicide rates in this country... some lives really are not worth living, at all. it's a sad thing... it's actually a rational position. psychiatry... i'm starting to think szasz was mostly right... but... there is no help here. so all that's left is a form of control... you have dementia, of course you do, studies show people are happier* (TM we own the copyright on that standardized assessment test) when they are all free range in open plan institutions. it's culturally appropriate, hey!


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