Posted by alexandra_k on March 10, 2016, at 0:18:07
In reply to Re: Dr Bob??, posted by ClearSkies on March 4, 2016, at 21:30:09
Things seem a bit better now...
If things were just the same... Things seem less threatening, somehow. Even my bank seems to be toning down the red and moving into various hues of purple...
I still strongly suspect that this country has been taken over. That it is a puppet. I suppose that is the cold, hard, truth of the situation. What is frightening (to me) is that it is a puppet of asia rather than a puppet of the US or the UK or even Australia. It frightens me because... I don't even know that it is asia. It could be the middle east. For all I know. The language barrier... And the fact that so very many of them have gone to the trouble of developing a freaking good understanding of English and meanwhile... I have no comprehension... It feels frightening... In large part because it feels confusing and alien.
I feel a strong sense of sadness towards our chinese community. We keep going on (and on and on and on and freaking on) about the Treaty of Waitangi and our duties (or whatever) towards indigenous population... But there were a bunch of Pacific Islanders who came over here when we needed them to work industry etc... Only to have dawn raids (police seeking out illegal immigrants at dawn) when we didn't feel we needed them so much... So sometimes you hear about MPAS (Maaori and Pacific Islander) 'special status'. But then you look at how we also let a bunch of Chinese in when we felt we needed them and... We are still really f*ck*ng racist. Like seriously... And part of it is fear because of the language and culture... Difference... Barrier... But a heap have seriously invested in this country. By which I mean... They've freaking moved here. They are raising their children here. I mean, seriously, they are as Kiwi as I am...
But then there is something different, again... Those who invest in infrastructure here who don't live here. Or those who invest in city infrastructure who don't live in the city. That frightens me. Not just of foreign investors, also of local investors... No, that's not fair, it frightens me about foreign investors more because conditions are worse for the worst off across the majority of... The non-western world. Is that true? Do I have that right? I don't even know anymore...
There are aircraft at night... I don't suppose it is anything that I didn't see in North Carolina... Military craft. Not the sound (speed) of domestic flights. And domestic flights tend to not fly over land in so far as they can help it (and we are a freaking island)...
I think we have probably been occupied...
There was this horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible thing that happened... Fonterra. It is a big dairy company in NZ. Milk powder. They marketed milk powder to china. Cleaner. More hygenic. Etc etc etc. It was poisoned. We freaking poisoned a bunch of kids. I don't know more about what happened with that... But I know if I was Chinese... If I didn't live in the city here but was investing in the infrastructure of the city here... It was a horrible horrible horrible horrible thing...
And many of the people who are arriving here and used to the whole 'one child' thing... Only to find families with 12 or 14 or more children.. The whole 'throw your spores to the wind and see what survives to nurse you in your old age' childrearing strategy... And they all get to go to university (in the name of equity). Even when the culture doesn't support their reading or writing or learning any math or anything (because you have to look and smile and look and smile and look and smile and squawk with happiness on demand constantly always forever)...
But I don't feel the terror that I was feeling before about imminant danger. I was panicked about imminant danger. That they were going to raise the city... That they were going to erect the barbed wire fence overnight and man the entry / exit bridges with snipers... That they were going to raise buildings full of 'vermin' people... That there were 'bug' (flying insect) recording / transmitting drones... That level of 'paranoia' is gone from me... The newspaper... Is back to reading... Horrible horrible things going on in the world... But I don't fear that there has been a total take-over with horrible English translation... Or that the 'real writers' are screaming out for help in code... Colors don't seem to have 'special significance' anymore... And the new computer system with the whole 'one' theme... Turns out to be not as good as I'd feared (is that makes sense). Just another in what will obviously be a long succession...
Back to relative normal, in other words.
I'm afraid... That is university here is fairly corrupt, actually. I suppose part of that is simply what they had to do in order to be a top 100 university, at all. But then just a whole heap of corruption layered on top... I am afraid that I won't get to do med. Or that I'll be set up to fail... Whatever... Whatever... Along the way.
I am enjoying all my classes, though. And... If I do get to do med after this year and next year... I will be glad that I got the opportunity to do the science I've done (am doing) beforehand. Really very.
We did this induction thing to the human anatomy lab... I was so very afraid... Because of how I'd said 'I really want to be a surgeon' or whatever for a while... But I've never seen a dead body. It was... Wonderful. Atmosphere was really respectful.... It wasn't freaky at all. Apparently people are freaked out by hands... I was freaked out by plastinated disembodied hand... But actual, attached hand... It just felt like saying 'hey'.
There is this pathology / sort of a museum aspect... With a bunch of real skeletons etc etc that I can access... That is kinda cool... No actual anatomy (dissections etc) unless med school, though. And then... 10 people to a cadaver. I guess I think... One sort of has a duty to learn as much as one can from books (and animals, even) before really taking the time (spending the hours) on doing such a thing... Properly. Really eeking as much learning out of the experience as possible. Because there is nothing more intimate than donating your body to science like that... And having the opportunity to do that... You don't want to not be making the most of the hours you could be spending in the lab because you don't know how to calculate freaking concentrations or whatever...
Anyway... Have a bit to be doing, yeah.
And feeling much happier for being kept busy.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1086642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20160101/msgs/1086981.html