Posted by alexandra_k on December 18, 2014, at 18:15:18
In reply to Re: Toxic family, posted by ClearSkies on December 17, 2014, at 12:34:23
that is fair enough. i... feel badly that i really don't feel a sense of connection with my mother at all. actually... perhaps that isn't true. it is more that she needs to be in a very good place for us to be able to share a pleasant moment. and seems so rare... most of the time her mood is... mischievous... Machiavelli... i don't know... but i can't deal.
i went to a lunch at my old (undergrad) department yesterday. got a ride down with some people from here... it was really nice. nice people. all kinds of quirks and hangups. lots of infighting. lots of social anxieties. all round... but sensitive people... like me. family, yeah. they are my family.
of course it wasn't personal that i was taken off mailing lists at this end... there have been muck-ups... i just need to be clear that i want to be put back on them. they get a bit crazy with people asking for tax advice and all sorts... so they probably do feel a bit shy about who is subscribed or various things... but, of course, i'm family, yeah. even if i don't know how international grads are supposed to file their tax returns...
one of the people from here has cancer. terminal, i think. it does bring up some stuff about my dad... driving through... we missed the city by-pass on the way down. drove through a lot of my old neighbourhood where i've lived various places over the years... nothing to do with mother. that period where i had no contact with her. uni days. nicer houses. prettier part of the city. pleasant memories, yeah. and walking around campus.
:)
my molecular model kit arrived... just after we thought it lost and they shipped another... so i'll end up with 2 of them. i feel fairly badly that their customer support was so nice and they said they'd ship another at no charge if i paid for fed ex... fed ex was more expensive than the packet... anyway... i told them it arrived and said i can pay them for the other shipment. and i feel... my conscience feels happy. and things worked out well. because you can never have enough atoms... i mean... i want to work through step by step reactions between molecules... and while one kit is enough to make all the molecules i'll need for first year i want to work through reactions between two different molecules so having two kits will be great...
point being... chemistry is starting to play nice.
and... i got entry into LAW I. so... if the medicine people say i can substitute general ed for the other law paper (which, miracle of miracles, doesn't clash with anything)... then i could apply to both medicine and law at the end of next year. i need to keep my GPA up to have a chance at either... but medicine only really cares about the 3 science and the 1 pop health / applied statistics and the UMAT... whereas law cares doesn't care about those papers so much as the 2 law papers... and I think I'll do quite well in the social science-y health papers like health systems and social psychology, so I think my overall GPA will be okay... even if i don't manage to do any better in science next year (assuming I don't do a bunch worse)...
anyway...
life is good.
i thought i'd be exhausted after my people day yesterday... but i really wasn't... it felt... refreshing. i enjoyed it.
i am glad that i am enjoying people more. yeah. family is important. my old t said to me that i had to make my own. that's always freaked me out because of how i can't really do the intimate thing... but damos... pc... dinah... babble people feel like family to me... and departments... yeah. and i'm spending christmas with some of my family. and... life is good, yeah.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1074231
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20141123/msgs/1074339.html