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Re: she's gone

Posted by alexandra_k on July 6, 2014, at 23:25:15

In reply to Re: spore, posted by alexandra_k on July 6, 2014, at 21:41:41

wow.

i wouldn't be surprised if the room doesn't get snapped up, quick smart. it is a nice room... possibly nicer than mine, if you like more harbour and less sky tower...

i hope i get someone quiet who minds their own business. who doesn't start trying to... bang about empathetically, or whatever it is that people do when they are lonely / trying to be friendly. and i hope that they go out to socialise rather than having people over. and that they don't like to listen to loud music / don't sing kareoke like someone does on this floor (can hear her when i'm waiting for the elevator)... things really could be so very much worse...

i am reminding myself...

someone somewhere somehow... someone has a little faith in me. or kindness towards me. something like that. for me to even have this place. and for the government to be still loaning me money to study. so... i just feel... very disappointed in myself over my performance in chemistry. i DID work hard. really, very. honestly... i did the best that i could. i did get a bit demoralized and couldn't face things a bit... my performance might have (weirdly enough) actually imporoved if i had another course to distribute things over... but, whatever. i just hope... i haven't dissapointed whoever... whatever... out there.

i need to remember... i don't feel particularly impressed by people who rock up to the gym for the first time and effortlessly throw around more than my max... i feel a lot more impressed by the people who have worked hard at something that they felt to be hard. i guess science is a bit like that, really. people will probably feel... happier... with me, even... if i struggle a bit... but persist. i hope physics goes a bit kinder to me next semester...

 

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