Posted by 10derheart on January 22, 2014, at 17:01:35
In reply to Re: worry driving me crazy » rjlockhart37, posted by Twinleaf on January 22, 2014, at 13:40:36
M,
I think Twinleaf has wonderful ideas - hope you take her post to heart. And, if your mind reacts like mine (ADD) to many, many options, you may tend to be overwhelmed and then freeze or give up 'cause making that executive decision of which one to try, when, how...it's all just too much. So...be aware that might be happening and maybe may your gf can help organize a small plan with baby steps?
Pick one at a time and try it for one week? Then you can see what helps?
I do understand. For me Matthew 6:25
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A25-34&version=NIV
makes so much sense, and is incredibly helpful, yet, to live that way consistently is sooooooooooo hard. Helps me to do a couple things...
---to repeat to myself that God is in control and whatever the "worry of the moment" is He will handle (AND remind yourself at the same time most things NEVER actually happen or are as bad as we imagine....)
----also I use the "so what?" exercise I learned years ago in a group....just focus on a situation like having to go to a public, group setting and feeling anxious and think of each thing that you worry about. Examples:
"People will look at me funny if I say the wrong thing"
[So what? Funny looks don't last. AND I could be imagining them, AND even if true, do funny looks harm me, really?]
"I won't be able to explain myself"
[So what? Can't I try again? Can every person on earth explain themselves well, first time, every time? Could I take someone with me to help explain? ....etc....]
"I'll feel bad/embarrassed/stupid/humiliated/hurt."
[So what? Yeah, I might, BUT...really, so what? Feelings pass. Does any feeling state last literally forever without changing? Will I die from these emotions? Am I not still here, still trying, when I've felt those *many* times before? Yup. Huh. Sooo they must not be that terribly threatening... I survive them!]
Make it like a game, especially if you and someone safe - like your gf - can do this out loud like we did in group. We usually ended up laughing because it helps you realize your worries are MUCH tinier than you thought and even if you keep saying, "yeah, but still..." IF you follow with "So What?" it helps to give perspective that most of these things either won't happen or when they do, are so unimportant i the scheme of your life, a year, a month or even your day, you can chuckle at yourself for spending brain power on them!
It helped me tremendously to practice this all the time. "So what?" became a powerful phrase. Even with huge things....
"But I will never find a job!"
SW?
"I won't have any money"
SW?
"I can't pay my bills!"
SW?
"I'll become homeless!"
Okay....not "so what?" there (because yes, that happens in a small subset of cases...) but this is where the reality (or absurdity) comes in if you have ANY resources at all: family, gf, friends, gov't assistance, whatever....others would HELP YOU not become homeless. The idea being that even the worst isn't equal to the "I'm Going to Die From It!!!" reactions many of we anxiety-prone folks apply to initial problems, reflexively, and convince ourselves they are true, true, true.
Don't know if I explained that well, but it's stuck with me and keeps helping me after a decade (first learned this in 2004) and so I know it can be an excellent tool. Not for everything, not for all MH problems, but for the worrying that is so automatic and makes sense to us, but might need challenging...
YMMV, I know, and I know it's really tough, but I KNOW you can do it. Keep going, keep posting, and like TL said, you have come FAR!!
MDD (presently in complete remission); ADD-Inattentive type; mild anxiety (not fomally dx'd)
Meds: Strattera 80 mg q day
poster:10derheart
thread:1059247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140102/msgs/1059261.html