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Re: Social Skills

Posted by alexandra_k on August 25, 2013, at 4:16:12

In reply to Re: Social Skills, posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2013, at 21:08:01

noone ever saw the little one
people heard her sometimes
her pain is silence

you know. sometimes this calmness comes over. centered. emotion is felt intensely. but quietly. peacefully. no hysteria. no production. and an attitude comes with. i'm not sure what it is... i'm not sure...

but that is the background for her pain
the screaming came later

i suspect it is the years (and years and years and years) of pain that i used to feel at night
curled up because there was no other way to be
in the mattress that sunk down into the pit in the middle
the alertness for her
in case she got bored and decided to come jolt me from bed
for this or that made up reason
this or that made up excuse
so she could have a yell
release some tension
then get some sleep herself.

which is probably why i can't sleep with people moving about the house. especially when there isn't a deadbolt lock on my door.

it has been years now.

but the motor memory of that.

i don't suspect it will ever go away.

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:1047868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130811/msgs/1049653.html