Posted by alexandra_k on July 26, 2013, at 20:00:55
In reply to Re: It is happening again..., posted by alexandra_k on July 26, 2013, at 19:47:37
It is because those are the kids who are likely to stay. The ones who are successful in NZ society for the things that are valued here. There is inter-professional rugby and netball: The medical kids are expected to kick *ss. There is revue which seems to be about... Drama / music. Again: The medical kids are expected to kick *ss. And then of course the program is most selective (since the numbers have to be capped because of the cost of training the kids) and so it becomes a scarce therefore desirable therefore exclusive therefore even more desirable cycle...
But...
Now I'm thinking it is more like being a politician, really. Or a pharma rep.
I am an academic, really. I listen to someone get excited about how she just *had* to work on that biomolecule because it is *beautiful* (oh and by the way it might have anti-cancer properties). Listening to the passion...
And I'm sold.
And... Well... That isn't what medicine is about. It seems to me.
Not here, anyway.
I don't know that we train many specialists. I think typically people go overseas to Aussie or even further abroad if they want to train as a specialist. Then... Once you are trained as a specialist... You earn more money for less hours (and less on-call hours too, I hear) so... Well... Why the hell would you come back to NZ?
Unless... You prefer being the 'big man' in your local rugby club rather than being 'mediocre man' in Sydney. Or finding that the country doesn't really give a crap about Rugby anyways, and Aussie rules or perhaps League is where it is at...
Different sort of person, I guess.
I chose to be worst in the best program. I'd choose it again. Here everybody tells me that I just need to stand up... But... It isn't me. Somehow... It simply isn't me.
I'm not sure what it is.
I don't think I am particularly smart. Or dedicated. Or ambitious. Or... Anything special, really. What encourages me to be better is to look at people who are doing better than me. My drive to better myself depends on people around me being greater. I don't want to be the leader. I'm incompetent. Of course others are even more incompetent. But that pains me. It doesn't make me feel good. Some people thrive on it. But it doesn't make me feel good.
I think that is it.
Reluctant leader.
But certainly not yet. I've got a lot more learning to do... I'm only 35 ffs.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1047657
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130612/msgs/1047858.html