Posted by wearytraveler on January 28, 2013, at 23:18:44 [reposted on February 3, 2013, at 1:13:06 | original URL]
In reply to , posted by on December 31, 1969, at 18:00:00
>
> > > Yes, that's it. I feel heard by you.
>
> Step 3 would be to build on what I said, about feeling disappointed and responsible, with something from your experience (an I-statement).
>
> Is this making sense? Any questions? Would anybody like to try step 3?
>in response to your first question, to me, no, parts of your response don't make sense. When presented with a direct transcription of your own statement, you said you still don't "feel" heard.
Do you think what you first wrote (you feel disappointed that you weren't a better teacher of civility) accurately reflected your feeling?
Does you think your expression was in any way diminished when it was reflected back to you as the product of your thoughts? Was it a thoughtful statement?
Probably most important to me, for my own safety -- which sometimes is important to me -- I need to now how you might deal with your disappointment in the future when you feel you are failing as a teacher. Will you feel disappointed if you begin to feel you're not a very effective teacher of this approach?
At times, during your efforts to teach civility, you appeared to deal with your feelings that you now reveal as dissappointment by trying even harder, sometimes alienating people who you found yourself unable to teach. Will you alienate from this community people who don't practice this "approach" to your satisfaction?
I sometimes feel disappointed with my humanity when others are reticent about their thoughts then use positions of power to imply I should cater to their feelings.
poster:wearytraveler
thread:1037205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130101/msgs/1037216.html