Posted by Solstice on August 21, 2011, at 12:07:56
In reply to this post is from 2006 on moving out, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on August 21, 2011, at 0:49:18
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> I would love if someone could just add on to this. I need instructions on how to move out because its too much for me to handle and I need someone to help me.
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> Thats all.
> regards,
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> MattMatt - whoever wrote about the things they took action on gave you wise guidance. They took small, measured steps.. one at a time. I think you're looking for someone to do it for you - and that's just not gonna happen. If you can't take the kind of steps he described, then you are not 'ready' to live on your own. You have to be the one who initiates those steps, otherwise you will remain dependent on whoever does it for you.. which means you are not 'on your own.' Someone I love is a young adult with ADHD, a slow processing speed, and learning disabilities... unable to live independently. This young person has the potential to live in a support-settting, perhaps with a roommate, but will need a responsible adult or service agency to assist with money management, bill-paying, and other higher-level decision-making adult responsibilities.
The freedom of independent living that you want so badly (in hopes that you can find a doctor who will prescribe drugs you are addicted to) comes with a price. Freedom is not *free* of responsibility - rather - it is laden with responsibilities. Those responsibilities can be overwhelming at times. The first *burden* of freedom and independence is getting and keeping a job so you can be self-supporting. Feeding your addiction with stimulants that you say you will abuse if you get them will not get you what you want. It will not result in your having better performance, and could very well end up with you living on the street or living in and out of jail.
You say you have a pleasant arrangement now - including free living quarters, free food, clothes, everything you need, and a car to drive. There are earnest, good, hard-working people all over the world who live in squalor who would give anything in the world to have what you've got... and if they had it they would not be complaining about (and hating & cursing) the mother or the doctor.
You say you hate yourself for the bad choices you've made. Make a good choice. Volunteer your labor at a homeless shelter. Mow the grass. Be the custodian. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Walk the dogs. Feed them. Clean their cages. Use your car and spend your time doing things that are a service to others. You will earn the respect of your mother - and everyone else. The people running the places where you volunteer will love you - appreciate you - and they won't care if you're overweight or have a slow processing speed. If you do what I'm suggesting - it won't be long and you will begin to see yourself through their eyes - that you are a kind, giving person. The young person I told you about above works at a horse rescue ranch. Cleans the horse stalls, takes care of the ranch pig and cat. And that young person is very loved.. gets hugs every day.. goes to sleep exhausted and happy. They say the pig knows his voice, and follows him around the ranch like a puppy-dog. I saw a picture of him asleep in the afternoon out in the pasture, with his head laying on the pig who was also asleep, sprawled out in the hay.
What you water, grows. Right now you are 'watering' the selfish addict. Turn your back on that part of yourself so it will shrivel up. Take your focus off of feeding your addiction - and put it on serving those who don't have what you have. That will 'water' the best parts of yourself. And it will grow. And during the process, you will earn the recognition and affection you desire.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:994429
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110722/msgs/994448.html