Posted by fayeroe on November 16, 2010, at 19:57:14
In reply to Re: FYI, posted by gardenergirl on November 16, 2010, at 18:44:53
> > > Correct this.
> >
> > Any suggestions?
> >
> > I have none at the moment.
>
> I think that Bob has limited power as to what goes on behind the scenes. True, he can view babblemails, but only ones that are sent to him with header info (or whatever the signature code or something or other) included. So behavior can occur that is against site guidelines without sanction if it is never reported to him.
> >
> > I refused to be sucked into the drama.
>
> That may be the best action to stop any gossiping behavior. Just don't participate; set a good example with this; don't reinforce the behavior, etc.I agree with you that not participating is the best thing to do when someone who gossips approaches you. But if a poster is new and does not know that the other poster is bringing "stories" and spreading rumors, (made up by gossiping poster) they may find themselves in a huge mess that turns out to be very confusing and hurtful.
Then there is the sort of gossip that Scott referred to..the "someone told me that you don't like me" junk. This is a mental health forum and naturally there are people here who have low self-esteem and they will be hurt if they think someone dislikes them.
>
> As a general comment, not one directed at or to anyone here, I have encountered folks in my lifetime who seem to "thrive" on gossip. It's like it's a source of energy or vitality for them. If we fail to engage in this behavior with such persons, we take away their power. I actually feel sort of sad when I think about someone who gains so much from gossip, because I get the impression that they are striving for something, maybe esteem, that they aren't getting elsewhere in life. And I believe we all are worthy of esteem, at the very least, self-esteem. So I feel sad about it.I agree with you. I feel sad for a gossiper but I feel just as sad for the victim. More so, actually. The victim doesn't ask to be involved. It is like "you can't pick your family". I believe that some posters feel that Babble is their family..their life. When a "family member" tells them something that eventually hurts them, what do they do?
>
> There's my four cents. Inflation and all... ;)
>
> gg
>
>
poster:fayeroe
thread:970146
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20101029/msgs/970521.html