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Posted by cass on July 9, 2010, at 2:24:01

Today my therapist told me that I'm drawn to life-affirming people. However, I'm not treating myself in a way that's life affirming. He's says I'm pushing away what I want.

How do I get my happiness back?? I had a good life for awhile but my husband died and I haven't bounced back. I've made progress, but I'm not the person I was when he was alive.

I do have lots of life-affirming people in my life, but I know some people may be offput by my recent depressive vibes.

Sometimes I wish I could believe in the Christian God, if I could somehow convince myself into following the mythical benevolent father-figure in the sky. It must give some comfort. But it doesn't give me any comfort because I cannot deceive myself. From experience, I believe in a spiritual presence in myself, others, nature and the world, but I do not believe the Christian God.

My therapist is calling me an alcoholic. I don't care about the label. I'm not going to take it on. I know all about 12-step programs in this area, and I don't want to go to one. But I'd like to taper down on drinking.




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