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Re: I'm sad NO is over now Deneb

Posted by Dinah on May 28, 2010, at 20:50:36

In reply to I'm sad NO is over now, posted by Deneb on May 28, 2010, at 0:03:51

Deneb, I was thinking about ways to keep people close even when they're far away.

I know you feel sad right now. But if Dr. Bob is going to be an influence in your life, maybe he could be an influence for the good. Maybe you could take the things you like best about him and use him as a role model. Like... He likes to be active, so maybe if you feel like skipping your swimming class, you could think about what Dr. Bob would do and choose to go instead. Or you could try to cultivate the sense of curiosity, or of compassion, that you so admire in him.

Or maybe you could make a special effort to talk to your Dad every day. I liked what you told me about his (IMO) reasonable level of concern about your trip. It sounded very caring to me.

It could even be something to post about, like a journal. I know if I were Dr. Bob, I'd like to think my influence on others was encouraging rather than something that made them feel sad.

And of course, to paraphrase what I say about my therapist, the Dr. Bob in your head will always know just the right thing to say, and he'll always be there for you. :)

I suppose the idea is that eventually the Dr. Bob (or therapist) in your head becomes part of who *you* are.

Just an idea...

(And of course it's perfectly ok to be sad for a while. I'm not trying to discourage that. Goodness knows, sometimes feeling sad is appropriate.)

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100528/msgs/949336.html