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Re: I'm gonna pull my hair out over you! » Deneb

Posted by Nadezda on November 9, 2008, at 12:12:37

In reply to Re: I'm gonna pull my hair out over you! » Racer, posted by Deneb on November 9, 2008, at 0:35:48

It's a relief that you understand that "I want to die" really means "I feel overwhelmed by bad feelings." Maybe the one thing you need to add is-- that you also don't know how to self-sooth. I have that problem too-- and it's taken time, but there are techniques, which become more effective when practiced. There's also trying very hard, when you feel that overwhelming sense, and start saying "I want to die" to yourself, to remember that you don't want to die-- you want to feel better. If you practice saying that to yourself, I predict you'll feel much better than if you keep saying , "I want to die."

As an experiment, try thinking of a situation that you're a little worried about (not anything you're very upset by). Then think, "it's a disaster, it's hopeless, etc"-- and see how you feel. Then think of the situation, and say, "I'll be able to handle it, It isn't the end of things, I'll have another chance to repair it; it will turn out okay" (or other reassuring phrases)-=- and compare how to feel. I suspect you'll find that you feel much better if you say the second things-- than if you say t he first. That illustrates how powerful the words and thoughts you have can be-- in worsening how you feel, or relieving it.

I am really glad, though, that you're finding ways of getting relief-- like walking. But there are things you can do other than walking-- breathing slowly, thinking about a safe or happy place, and others. The next step is learning how to do those things.

Nadezda


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poster:Nadezda thread:861559
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20081031/msgs/861760.html