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Re: sick of being sick

Posted by riot on August 29, 2008, at 18:26:33

In reply to Re: sick of being sick, posted by WaterSapphire on August 29, 2008, at 17:27:07

Chelle.
Thank you for sharing. Its been hard for me to accept the reality of my illness for a long time. When I was diagnosed with some of the same disorders as my mom I was heart broken. I spent so long in denial. I have been trying to learn what these "diagnosis" mean without obsessing. I have made noted progress. But I still feel like I am just starting this.

I know I am going to deal with these things forever, I just hope I can learn to love myself and learn to love life again.

I have accepted that I may never fit into my blood family. I simply do not live like they do. I break their cycle which is why they have always resented me. When my mom was going through her episodes I would always recognize it. No one else.

The biggest improvement I have made was the adoption of a therapy dog. She has brought a world of confidence to me. She is learning me and has already started sleeping touching me to sense if I am troubled.

Right now all I can do is take is one minute at a time.

> HI Riot,
> as a maladjusted product of a family with issues myself...I have to say it is a harder road for some of us than others. You are young still, and have many years ahead...and it is good and understandable that you want to break the cycle.
> Coming to terms with what has happened with your family may take a long time, and in order to heal at all you have got to somehow find acceptance for yourself in an amongst the chaos. Also, being able to accept you have an emotional illness and that it is real is sometimes hard, but very important too. You cannot change them, for you can only change how you see and do things. After an entire lifetime of pain and remorse with my family, somehow despite everything else going wrong, I have finally come to peace with my parents and brother. It can happen, and I am 32 years old. It has just happened in the last 6 months. As far as medication goes, I have been one to not have the most luck so far, and now circumstances have been such that my choices for treatment and even getting to treatment/getting treatment are very hard. It is so awesome that you are seeking treatment and even coming here to open up. I don't remember even how I first came upon this site around 2004. I came and left (not because of the site), and came back again lol.
> I am so sorry things are so hard for you right now. Seeing a light amidst everything is sometimes so difficult, but it is possible. Another thing to realize is that what works for one of us, might not work for another. Some people do better with a combination of alternative medicine in combo with their regular psych meds for example. There is an alternative board here if you are interested in checking that out too. Welcome here and I hope you can find what you are looking for and best wishes with your treatment program...
> Chelle


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