Posted by Fivefires on April 30, 2008, at 17:28:44
In reply to Re: Very Close To Ending This H*ll! **trigger** » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on April 29, 2008, at 20:04:57
One what Phillipa?
I'm in another dimension or something here.
Yes, I stayed up most of night excitedly packing to go and learn to build my life back to a kind of life again, butt, I didn't leave!!!
Did I tell you?
I was writing something and it was taking too long, after packed and showered, and I called the facility and the freakin bed was GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :(
It is evening. I am 'feelingless'.
Right after this happened this early day I cried a long long time.
Then came that awful anger again. I beat on my bed real hard w/ my fists and yelled obscenities into my covers. (Jeez I hope no one heard me; whoa; totally w/o marbles!) That went on for a long time.
I just aroused a while ago. A couple fam' members had been going to try and talk w/ them re: I and this was what I was writing about that tripped me up and I missed the bed o_o.
It 'a different night at least' 'experienced a vast variety of emotions in the last 24hrs. It was so easy for me to feel hopeful and happy when I was packing. I was even putting shampoo and conditioner in 3oz containers; thinking to myself 'I'm not flying anywhere, but maybe I will and then I'll have them ready'. Then deep sorrow. Then meanie me, angry me. Now just me.
Talk to all tonight.
Dang ... I see the follow up posts about the lights.
You guys had a light vigil thing for me :)
Raincheck?
This is not the end.
5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:823777
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080428/msgs/826449.html