Posted by your#1fan on November 25, 2007, at 23:07:28 [reposted on November 27, 2007, at 20:52:26 | original URL]
Ladies and Gentlemen
I have situations that are causing this. But i dont know why i get so terribly depressed at a certain time.
I cant tell you the amount of thought and anxiety that i go through everyday, plus the depression with it. Oh god, you just think im posting this. Im just posting a quick post because i dont know how to describe it.
Why does all this happen to me? why me? am i irresponsible? i used not be not but now im on the edge of not.
I mean, im scared of whats going to happen, whats going to happen at the doctor? he thinks im a bit nuerotic and puts me on some heavy drug? by the way i have a fear ill call him a million times, LAST week i started calling the office and talked to the nurse and updated him on how my day went...if i lost my keys...class...friends...my life. There just saying hang in there until your next appoinment.
Im afriad its a self profiling profecy. Im scared you folks! im scared of failure, of losing control...wait i dont have any control...whats to lose? i cant deal with reality.
I tell ya i cant! its too much, i think i was sheltered a bit too much and the world i cant fit into it! i have phobias, and no one here. Or people that used to post...dont post anymore.
I tell you i have maybe scared off some people thinking im nuerotic. I thought for a period of time i was the #1 living american guy. Well maybe not that. But folks, i cant take much more. And im not going to let myself fall apart.
When i get depressed, my face is mashed into a pillow with my eyes squenched, on the bed. Its terrible, i hate the feeling.
This is too much....is there anyone that understands or gives anything even reading this? i hate my life! god.
im sorry im not a fan of myself.
poster:your#1fan
thread:797363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20071026/msgs/797363.html