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T came back - made it worse

Posted by seldomseen on September 6, 2007, at 12:13:34

In reply to I feel some better today - though still abandoned, posted by seldomseen on September 4, 2007, at 16:12:57

Maybe this should migrate over to the psychology board - I don't know.

I guess I'll just bottom line it, this morning I felt as miserable as I have ever felt in my life. Totally alone, overwhelmingly sad and just hopeless.
I very likely will lose my job tomorrow or at least get a very severe "lashing" over my "mentored" project - which, just to remind you I had very little mentoring on. In fact, one of my mentors isn't even COMING to the review.
My breakup with my boyfriend is weighing very heavily on my mind - I guess that's an understatement.

So... I knew my T was back in town as of yesterday, so I gave him a call.

He seemed very put out that I had called him and told - literally told me - that I just had to "suck it up until Monday" when I go see him.

I told him that I was feeling very abandoned by everyone that was supposed to help me and supposedly loved me and he still said that.

After all these years together and all the stuff we have been through together, I get hurried off the phone and told to suck it up.

Not that he could fix anything that has happened and I certainly didn't expect him to, but something more would have been nice.

He just made me feel more alone.

I wish I could say something like - oh well, things will get better, or this is a situational thing that I'm sure will pass. Or my all time favorite - "Life goes on".

You know - some upbeat thing that I usually tell people so that they think I'm in control and okay, but I just can't do that today.

Seldom.

 

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