Posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28
Deeper than dirt, whatever. My pdoc and therapist have dared to have their own lives over the holidays. My depression is pathetic and not worthy of a 911 call, much less a call to the on-call pdoc or disrupting my T's break. I did manage to make an appointment for a mammogram, but that isn't much fun.
So sick of feeling sick, so despairing that I'll find a treatment that I can live with, so angry with my pdoc, so afraid to tell my therapist how badly I'm feeling. My DH has no idea what's going on; he has his own problems and he just wants me off everything to find out who the "real" and unmedicated me is.
Going through the motions of daily life is exhausting. Putting on the happy face for the world at large is counter to how I feel and feels like a betrayal to myself. I want to stop feeling altogether. I want to take my mind someplace so it can be numb and without having to react to any stimuli at all.
poster:ClearSkies
thread:718513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061228/msgs/718513.html