Posted by sunnydays on October 31, 2006, at 21:19:59
In reply to Re: My therapist doesn't believe in transference.. » sunnydays, posted by Tate_ne on October 31, 2006, at 19:58:06
The therapist I see doesn't have a Phd.... That's not what makes a good therapist, it's their personal qualities, in my experience. I saw a T with a phD and he was a horrible fit for me. Now that I've found this T, I know what a good fit is. His degree is in social work.
Hey.... are you implying I'm emotionally damaged? Well, I am, but that doesn't mean anything. It is often repeated here that "there is no hierarchy of suffering". And that's so true. I feel bad because I wasn't raped, and some people have been. But it really doesn't matter here what you have gone through. I haven't told anyone here what has happened, really, and I still get support. You will too. It doesn't matter why you are feeling bad or having strong feelings - feelings just are, and you deserve support in dealing with them.
I can't look at my T for more than about 30 seconds, so don't worry. But sometimes he will very gently ask me to look at him if he has something important to say where he really wants me to see he's telling the truth. So don't feel bad about not looking at your T.
Transference may not exist. But the feelings you are having do. They don't mean you're gay, and they're perfectly natural. And you deserve to have someone you can talk about them with. That's why I would urge you to consider talking with the person she is considering referring you to. Can you talk with that person before ending with your T and decide which one you would rather continue with?
I personally feel very childlike feelings for my T -- I wish he was my father. But it's perfectly normal to have romantic feelings too, even for a T of the same sex. I promise. It doesn't mean you're gay. I miss my T all the time.
As for having a boyfriend... won't solve the feelings, sorry to say. And I'm 20 and have never had a boyfriend, so I hope that doesn't make me abnormal. ;)
I don't think she thinks you're psychotic, or she'd be referring you to a psychiatrist to get medications, I'm sure. And you don't sound psychotic at all to me.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:699383
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061018/msgs/699446.html