Posted by Racer on October 26, 2006, at 12:49:13
In reply to New with an interesting question, posted by LJRen on October 22, 2006, at 1:19:38
Welcome to Babble, and I hope you stick around. I've found a lot of support here over the years, and I hope you'll find a lot of support, too.
As for your question, I think the answer is about the same as why we don't allow children to make their own medical decisions. Children aren't able to make the decisions in their best interest, because they don't have the perspective that would allow them to do so. Same with severe depression -- someone who is severely depressed has a cognitive handicap. (Trust me -- I've been suicidal. There are even times now when I wish I'd succeeded. I'm not throwing that out as a "you crazy people just don't know." I'm saying it as a "this is what I see now, that I couldn't see then, and I'm not sure you can see now...")
Depression is a black beast that hides the world from us. All we can see when it has us in its grips is the little slice of the world it's willing to show us. All the hopeful things are hidden by it. That's why people need to be protected from it and from ourselves when it has us.
From what you've said, it sounds to me as though you're inadequately medicated. Believe it or not -- and I know I never believe it when I'm depressed ;-) -- there really and truly are effective medications out there that don't leave you feeling as flat as you describe. I strongly urge you to look into augmenting whatever you're on, once you get insurance. Actually, I'd urge you to try to find a good psychopharmacologist and pay out of pocket right now -- my experience has been I've been unable to succeed in any job when I'm depressed and inadequately medicated. I'd hate to have you run into trouble because of your depression, especially in a new place, and especially if it interferes with your ability to get treatment for that depression.
Did you get your medication through a psychopharmacologist, or a GP? If you got it from a GP, it's well worth going to a good pdoc -- although they can be hard to find -- simply because GPs just plain don't know enough about the drugs out there. They use a very simple algorithm, and if it fails, they don't know how to find the subtle shadings that pdocs use. They're also much less likely to augment medications that work a little -- they'll often change drugs, rather than adding something too boost them.
There's a medications board here, too, as well as a psychotherapy board. They may be helpful for you, too.
Good luck, and, again, welcome!
poster:Racer
thread:697835
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061018/msgs/697914.html