Posted by lymom3 on October 7, 2006, at 12:15:16 [reposted on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:23 | original URL]
In reply to Re: A plan of action, posted by laima on October 7, 2006, at 11:10:25
I am a mother of 3 boys. The middle one is about your age. He has ADHD and I WISH he had a job. I would give anything if someone would hire him. You must be doing something right. Be proud of that. Your mom is not doing you any favors by being so overbearing and trying to make you feel like you can't or shouldn't be allowed to manage your own life. She's damaging your relationship with her and damaging your view of yourself. If you allow it to go on neither one of those things might ever be able to recover.
Just because she's your mother doesn't mean that she knows best. Trust me...I know that. I haven't always done what's best for my kids. I thought I was at the time but the last thing I wanted to do was to make things worse. I'm not doubting that she loves you dearly, but she's clearly hurting you, not helping. YOUR health and well being is the focus and what's at stake; not what SHE wants. If she can't or won't back off, you HAVE to get yourself out of that situation.
Notfred does have some great ideas and I hope you can make some of the work in your day to day life because you deserve a measure of peace. I can't imagine how much stress you have to live under every day. That just has to be miserable for you to try to not piss her off because who wants to fight like that every day? I can only imagine. My heart really goes out to you.
I do think about your situation a lot and know how hard it must be for you to love your mom because she's your mom and you know that she is trying to do the best she knows how (at least I think that's what she's doing) but at the same time you know that she is just way off base and totally ruining your chance for trying to normalize your life at this point. I think we all wish we could do something to help you.
poster:lymom3
thread:691924
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061005/msgs/693019.html