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Nikki pretty much said it all... » Deneb

Posted by Racer on September 17, 2006, at 11:58:58

In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 2:45:35

> I can't stand this!!! I want to die!! I'm going to hang myself over a stupid Usenet group.

No, you're not going to do that, Deneb. You're going to practice some of your new coping skills, some self-soothing techniques -- and you're going to notice that you DO get support here, you DO NOT get support there, and you're going to ask yourself WHY you keep going back there?

Deneb, I don't know which usenet group this is, whether it's the cancer site, still, or another. Whatever it is, though, you will never be able to change their minds about you by making threats like this. That's just not going to happen -- and, in fact, the more threats like this you make, the more troll-like people will see you as being. I don't think knowing that will make it any easier for you, though...

>
> How can I go from happy as can be one hour to wanting to hang myself the next?
>
> There is something horribly wrong with me!

No, there's nothing "horribly" wrong with you, Deneb. How do you go from happy to frantic within an hour? That's called "Emotional Dysregulation." Have we heard that associated with any disorders? Hm... Marsha Linehan wrote something about that sort of escalation happening when parents shushed their kids, and shushed their kids -- while the kids were asking appropriately for attention -- only to give them their full attention once the kids escalated. So, the kids get "trained" to escalate in order to get the attention they need. From what you've told us about your family, it sounds as though your parents were too wrapped up in their own drama to give you the attention you needed, and so you learned to escalate.

Now, as an adult, it's time for you to take responsibility for UNlearning that particular lesson.

Deneb? I have faith that you can do this if you choose to. Notice I said "If you choose to," and not "If you try." You won't try unless you choose to, and it's a choice only you can make.

>
> Help!!!!!!!!!

Honey, as a gentle reprimand here: we have offered you help, many times, about exactly this. We've already given you all the practical help we can, which really is limited to giving you our best advice.

Now it's time you need to choose if you plan to use that advice.

Good luck.


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poster:Racer thread:686720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060911/msgs/686801.html