Posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
In reply to Re:The workshop » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on May 22, 2006, at 13:13:13
Thanks Larry, for the hug and trying to make me feel better.
I was super tired after the presentation. I went to my hostel and slept. Then I just didn't feel like getting up. I was feeling kind of really blah. I just got up out of bed. I think I'll head home early. It's been very stressful for me, I'm not sure how much more I can take.
The workshop was horrible. I was only supposed to introduce myself, but then I went on and on reading my "essay". I just wanted to get it over with, with no regard for what is appropriate. Once I started reading, I didn't know what to do but continue. I was in my own little world again, pretending I was just reading it to no one.
I'm thinking, "I want to kill myself." I don't really want to kill myself, but I'm so mortified that maybe I wouldn't care if I died. Bob took pity on me and give me a hug when I asked for one.
I don't feel like I have the energy to take care of myself right now. I just want to do nothing, but I know I have to get something to eat and pack and walk over to the bus station. Those seem like huge tasks right now. I'm just drained.
I hope I am okay. I had passing bad thoughts yesterday on the subway platform. I can't descibe them without putting "trigger" on this post. You can probably guess what I was thinking. I would never do it of course, but it was strange that I thought about it.
Too many embarrassing things happened to me over the weekend. I just have to block them out.
I should hug Meow Meow. He has essence of Bob on him. I'm stressed out.
I think I'm just having a bad day or something. Maybe it's the lack of sleep and the stress of the trip catching up to me. I predicted this would happen.
I'm going to check the bus schedule.
It was really good to meet Babblers. I know I've been going on and on about Dr. Bob, but it is Babblers who make Babble special.
Everyone was great. Larry was just as I imagined him to be. He's just as helpful in real life. You can tell he really cares. Pseudoname is sweet and approachable. I thought he was really cute. :-) 10derHeart had lots to say, she always says the right thing at the right time. She made me laugh a lot. :-) Poet was really animated. She likes to speak her mind and was the decisive one of the group. She picked a great restaurant for us. Fallsfall was thoughful and reflective. She explained some things to me that let me understand some things.
Dr. Bob was really civil. LOL He doesn't start conversations much, he contributes a little, but I think he mostly listens. Bob is really sweet in real life. He didn't mind letting me hug him. In fact, he hugged me back! It was incredible.
I'm feeling better now. :-) Writing about it helps.
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:645956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060521/msgs/646974.html