Posted by special_k on April 10, 2006, at 5:40:44
In reply to Re: Alternatives to hugs (long), posted by special_k on April 10, 2006, at 5:31:19
actually that gets me thinking of something daniel dennett wrote... i'll paraphrase which is kinda like making it up as you go... but i shall try...
when you really think about it some of the most pleasurable things and some of the least pleasurable things involve playing around with your boundaries or the boundaries of someone else.
he talks about eating and hugging / intimacy / sex...
and about fear of being engulfed / invaded... invasive things...
and that seems right.
they send to be sources of intense pleasure or intense displeasure.
hrm.
not that i think bob really gets to thinking on the pleasure / displeasure aspect lol.
it is more about the arms length thing i guess...
er...
i was going to say something dammit...
oh yeah.
about the regulating emotions thing...
i know it can be hard to regulate positive emotions. it can be hard because it is so *great* to feel so *great*.
but the trouble is that if you kind of feed and nurture that... then the fall is more inevitable than trying to achieve a more moderate pleasure rather than fostering feeling *great*. how to moderate feeling *great*... well... by thinking of greater context. that is meant to be how. and if you do that (to kind of moderate things) then apparantly it is meant to help with being able to moderate intense displeasure too (the greater context is easier to access and because you bore it in mind before you might not swing from *great* to *not so bloody great*)
but it is hard yes.
but... i think it is worth fostering...
and i think it is part of mature object relations...
i do.
but hard yeah.
poster:special_k
thread:626334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060406/msgs/631307.html