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Thanks everyone

Posted by TexasChic on March 1, 2006, at 18:33:59

In reply to Re: I'm sad and kind of stressed, posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2006, at 19:13:28

Yesterday I took a half day of vacation and spent the whole day at the house, not getting home until after midnight. I called in to work today. I won't get paid but it won't count against me either because its the beginning of the month, I just can't be late for the rest of the month.

I stayed in bed all day. I felt like I was mentally tired as well as physically. My car is still full of my stuff stacked almost to the ceiling. I'm going to have to unload it sometime today.

When I got there yesterday it was pure chaos. My brother told me it had been crazy all day. My Uncle and a few cousins were over to help. My Uncle had a big moving truck that they had already loaded most of the furniture in by the time I got there. He's driving it all back to Kentucky where he lives. I was kind of upset because there were a few things that were mine. But they said he was just taking everything for now (for lack of any better ideas) and we could get what we wanted back later. How that's going to work I don't know. I had no way of getting those things of mine to my place anyway.

I was very grateful for my cousins and Uncle's help. My Mom was getting all bitchy with them out of frusteration and I had to remind her that they were helping us out of the goodness of their hearts and she should be grateful (my immediate family has a tendency to be very self involved). She acted better after that. Its funny, whenever we need help the most, its the relatives that are the most shunned that show up every time. They've been in jail and have ongoing drug and alcohol problems, but they'll drop everything to be there if you need it. I think my Mom may have finally seen this for the first time in her life. She usually just looks down her nose at them.

Last night I started to get upset a few times thinking that it would be the last time I'd be in that house. But everything was too frantic to dwell on it. Today I keep thinking there must be things I've forgotten. But I guess it's better this way rather than being long and drawn out.

I'm doing okay over all. I'm trying not to get too down. Its just kind of overwhelming. The biggest feeling other than the grief over Grandmother is the feeling of just floating around with no anchor. That house has been where I've gone when I had no where else to go (my Mom is in a small one room apt now). I'm glad to be taking care of myself, but I can't help but realize there's no safety net anymore.

Well I guess I'll start unloading the car before it gets dark. Thanks again for all the support.




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