Posted by Deneb on December 16, 2005, at 17:44:40
In reply to Re: Civility Reminder » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k2 on December 16, 2005, at 16:32:20
> hmm...
>
> but you aren't hurting anyone - right?
>
> about the above thread...I hope I'm not hurting or scaring anyone. I sometimes worry that I might be scaring Dr. Bob.
> in deriving an ideal from the information we have... there tends to be a lot of information about us in the ideal that we derive / construct...
I think I agree. There is hardly any information about Dr. Bob's personality here and yet I have an elaborate one of him. All that info must have come from myself. I wonder what my idea of who Dr. Bob is says about me?
> i think... the thing to watch with ideals...
> is that they also tend to be idealisations.
> and typically...
> it is impossible for reality to live up to the ideal.
>
> and the danger can be...
>
> that when there is a mismatch between the ideal and the reality...> then sometimes that can lead to feeling disappointed. and sometimes that can lead to... some pretty negative / hostile feelings...
I hope the real Dr. Bob doesn't crush my ideals too much. But, then again, maybe I will be less obsessed with him when I find out how he really is.
I've had negative feelings about Dr. Bob before. I won't write about them here because I don't want to make him feel bad. I think those things when I have a tantrum.
I think Dr. Bob had to put up a lot with me. I'm sorry he had to experience certain things. I don't know if he is doing it on purpose, but he is like a rock when "dealing" with me. He's always normal even when I'm crazy. I think he is ideal mostly because of this. Is it all in my head? Or is there some truth to this ideal?
Deneb
poster:Deneb
thread:589622
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051215/msgs/589633.html