Posted by alexandra_k2 on December 16, 2005, at 16:32:20
In reply to Civility Reminder, posted by Deneb on December 16, 2005, at 15:59:04
hmm...
but you aren't hurting anyone - right?
about the above thread...
you said that you knew that it was your 'mental picture' or your 'ideal' of Dr Bob and you appreciate a distinction between the 'ideal' and the real person...
in deriving an ideal from the information we have... there tends to be a lot of information about us in the ideal that we derive / construct...
i think... the thing to watch with ideals...
is that they also tend to be idealisations.
and typically...
it is impossible for reality to live up to the ideal.and the danger can be...
that when there is a mismatch between the ideal and the reality...
then sometimes that can lead to feeling disappointed. and sometimes that can lead to... some pretty negative / hostile feelings...
thats all i'd try and be careful of.
i guess...
but i don't think you are doing any harm...i don't know if i'm making terribly much sense...
i just know that that is something i do sometimes...
and i guess...
if i was dr-bob thats probably something i'd worry about...
about people feeling disappointed or hurt or let down.
but then...
thats probably my projection ;-)
poster:alexandra_k2
thread:589622
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051215/msgs/589626.html