Posted by Dena on November 12, 2005, at 21:21:20
In reply to Re: SPIRITUAL ABUSEBet U Never Heard a Story LikeThis » Dena, posted by allisonross on November 12, 2005, at 7:16:47
Hey Alice -
Thanks for responding back to my looooooooong post!
You wrote: "The wound will always be there. I've overcome a childhood of abuse; physical, verbal and being molested, ten 31 years of abusive marriage, followed by spiritual abuse; I am very resilient. Good thing."
I've experienced complete healing of a lot of early childhood abuse (much like you endured). I also then suffered spiritual abuse (9 years of it, culminating in the excommunicating Bishop's Council that I wrote to you about -- all based on lies, which I could never refute).
But it's not our resiliance which sustains us -- part of that is numbing out, part of that is learning to live with the abuse, part of that is maintaining a "victim" mentality... What sustains us is how we let God re-interpret the abuse -- seeing it through His eyes of truth is what makes the difference.
Often, God, in His mercy, allows us to go through similar types of pain... "triggering" the old, unhealed (early childhood) pain -- so that it can be healed -- not to "re-torture" us... it's the buried, unhealed pain that really damages us, driving us from within, consuming us with the lies we believe about ourselves (& God) due to the pain...
and YES, we can all be completely set free - healed - of that old pain (along with the current pain that stirred it up). It happened to me (after 21 years of trying everything else for healing/recovery)... it's happened for thousands of others. You can check it out: www.theophostic.com
It can lead to unimaginable freedom.
You wrote: "What I told everybody was that I never for a moment lost my faith in God, because I knew it was PEOPLE doing this to me, and not God."This book was designed to bring people to the exact opposite conclusion -- that God, an all-powerful, all-loving, sovereign God either causes or allows all that happens to us -- for our GOOD, provided we yield to Him, and seek His perspective. If we focus on the people who caused the pain, we miss the point -- and we end up focused on them (in a sense, "haunted" by their actions) for the rest of our lives. Only in seeing this (& all things) as being from the hands of God, can we release the good that He intends to come from all things.
You say you're not bitter, and since I don't know you, haven't met you, I have to take you at your word. However, the impression I get, from your posts, from your email, and from your website, is a woman who's consummed with focusing upon what was done to her... rehearsing the offense, over and over, defined by it, as though it was now her identity.
I know what that's like -- I've done the same thing (I didn't create a website, but I've sent out my story numerous times to others). I know what it's done to me. I know how it's limited me. And I'm now tasting the freedom on the other side, having embraced the trauma as from the hand of God, meant for my good. A dichotomy, to be sure, as are many things about God.
You wrote: "My website: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com.....it has been a phenomenon and helped thousands to heal."I'm sure that thousands have been drawn there, have resonated with your story, and have related -- as, sadly, tragically, people in the church hurt others in the church -- deeply. I know.
But how can you say they've been healed? Perhaps it's only fostered their desire to rehash the pain, to focus on the trauma, to rehearse offenses done against them, to feel more justified in lashing out and denouncing those who harmed them. That's not healing. And I dare say, many of them who continue to focus on their own current pain are avoiding the TRUE healing that can come when God uses the current pain to heal the ancient pain... to set people free from that which was long-buried, and yet continues to fester, spreading poison throughout their lives...
You can write this off as "just her opinion" if you want to.
But I have received healing for the past abused in my life, along with the resulting addictions of bulimia, drugs/alcohol, shoplifting, compulsive promiscuity ... as well as the dysfunctions of depression and sexual frigidity (yep, I flipped from one extreme to the other, after getting married - go figure!).
I know what it's like to be crippled by abuse, as well as how to walk FREE from it (without the need to focus on what "they" did).
I know you can experience that too - it's wonderful, really. I never knew it could be like this...
Shalom, Dena
poster:Dena
thread:577004
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051109/msgs/578122.html