Posted by allisonross on November 12, 2005, at 7:16:47 [reposted on November 12, 2005, at 12:11:49 | original URL]
In reply to Re: SPIRITUAL ABUSEBet U Never Heard a Story LikeThis » allisonross, posted by Dena on November 11, 2005, at 22:23:50
> Hi, Dena: "Thank you. I's been 3 years, but it's a wound that can never fully heal."
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> Allison -- I know how intense the pain can be -- especially when it comes at the hands of fellow believers, extra-especially when it comes by the hands of someone in leadership.
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> I know - it happened to me, too. Different details, but same scenario. It's horrible. Unfathomably cruel. Unjust. Devastating. Like a rape of the soul.
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> However, know this: Yes, you CAN be completely healed...
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> The answer, in part, lies within that book you and I both read: "Exquisite Agony". I know you read it, but perhaps you forgot some of it. Perhaps you don't agree with it... but it spoke volumes to me, and so, for myself, for others, and perhaps for you, I'll share some of it here:
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> "The discovery that Christians can be cruel to Christians has destroyed the spiritual part of many a believer's life. Few things, even the loss of a loved one, affect one's life so profoundly or so painfully. The damage is quite often unfathomable. I would dare say that a truly vicious attack on the part of one believer to another leaves most Christians so hurt they never fully recover.
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> "Yet, full recovery is possible.Well, I am not sure how I feel about this. I am not bitter; just sad about what happened. I don't know what "full" recovery means.
The wound will always be there. I've overcome a childhood of abuse; physical, verbal and being molested, ten 31 years of abusive marriage, followed by spiritual abuse; I am very resilient. Good thing.
I read the book, but we all process things in our own way.
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> "Let us trust that you will be one of those who does recover. And fully so. Even more than recover.
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> "'Have there been many others who have been mistreated so severely?'
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> "A good question. Yes, mistreated, abused - so severely that it amounts to a crucifixion. Sometimes even a public crucifixion.
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> "There were John Huss, Latimer, Tyndale, Wycliff, the maiden Joan, John of Prague... ah, the list seems to be quite large.
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> "But the list is largest in your day; it seems there are many such goings on in your time. Nevertheless, the pattern has been pretty consistent, dating all the way back to, well, the cousin of Jesus.
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> "I have observed that in all these crucifixions, each person feels that few others have been so unjustly treated."
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> "Your first step to recovery? Is it to deal with that person who is most responsible for your being crucified? Do you know this person's name (or was it a group of people)? Lay aside his name. The villain lies elsewhere.Not sure I believe this.
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> "Drop the obvious. Place your crucifixion in the realm of the invisibles, in realms unseen. Only there will you truly find the person who deliberately caused you to be crucified. Be assured, this one is not of this earth. Only in the realm of the spirituals will you find the perpetrator. The person who authored the destruction which fell upon you, and those inescapable memories of the ghastly deed which now haunt you, it all began in that other realm. It is outside the names of earthly men that you discover your crucifier.
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> "Find him. It is also there that you will move toward being healed of those unhealing wounds.
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> "One thing is sure, the mastermind behind your crucifixion is not one who quickly comes to mind.
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> "Who crucified you? The same one who crucified your Lord. Inquire of Him as to who authored His crucifixion.
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> "Do you hear His response?
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> "'Who crucified Me? Who planned my crucifixion? My Father. It was my Father.'
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> "Hard words to hear, yes. Nor is it easy to reconcile such incongruity.
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> "Come to grips with this,that your Father - and your Lord's Father - willed that you be crucified. Accepting this terrible but immovable fact is your first step to healing. Take that step and recovery begins. Failing that, nothing else will ever work to your complete restoration. Healing is embedded in the act of your turning to your Lord and accepting this terrible tragedy as having come from His hand. Bitter, yes. Incomprehensible, yes. Embrace it you must. For essential it is.
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> "If you refuse?
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> "Hear my words. Refusal to accept your crucifixion as wholly from the hand of God only means you were not crucified, you were just mistreated. And what a waste.This is just his opinion. No one can really know.
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> "Be aware that many Christians choose not to be fully restored. Some believers actually prefer being wounded ... permanently. You have but two choices, recovery and healing, or your present state.Not me, I don't prefer being wounded. I spent a lifetime with that.
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> "Be warned, if you are healed, that means you cannot resent anymore.I don't resent, nor am I bitter (I said this in the letter to those people, that I forgave them)....but I think forgiveness is a process.
Some believers cannot handle such a thought; they need to go on resenting, arguing and remembering.
This isn't me.
Shall this be your lot?
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> "It would not be untypical for you to choose to hate rather than to be healed.I don't hate, not even when they were doing the abuse stuff to me; I was confused and sad.
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> "Wherein lies your disappointment? Where is centered your greatest pain? How tightly do you hold onto that injustice?
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> "A position denied? A title? Something taken from you that you desired? Something you deserved denied you? Something you did not deserve done to you? Position? Eldership? Accpetance? Approval? Your way?! Honor never bestowed Or being lied about?
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> "If you accept that nightmarish ordeal as a sovereign work of God, if you acquiesce to His will, then does He begin to have HIS will.If I KNEW that was his will, but no one can know that.
Suddenly it becomes not only a crucifixion but a holy work of God. Things needing destruction begin to be destroyed. Like what? Surely, not a person.
Things He desires live on... live on in victory. My whole life has been victorious; overcoming a lifetime of abuse, and still my spirit shows in my face.
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> "Persist in looking upon that event as the unjustifiable conduct of wicked men and nothing is gained. Its only outcome is a shriveled soul. Your future then becomes no more than that which awaits any embittered creature.
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> "But take heart. Even now it is not too late to allow that even to be taken as wholly from the hand of God. Receive it as being from Him for your good. For your transformation. For the destruction of the dark side of your person. For resurrection."
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> Gene Edwards (the author) goes on to contrast the person who continues to rehearse the offense, with the person who embraces it as from the hand of God:
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> "After that day (of the offense), when you met him, his main topic of conversation would be recounting how he had been mistreated by others."
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> "Everything negative which happened to him was both unfair and never his fault."
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> "He recounted his story of injustice to anyone who would listen. His defense was logical - so much so that it was not only plausible but irrestible."
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> "You have been angry. You have blamed. You have been the victim. You have often recalled the event of your victimization. Bitterness is at the door. Continue on this path and you lose all that God is seeking to accomplish in you.What I told everybody was that I never for a moment lost my faith in God, because I knew it was PEOPLE doing this to me, and not God.
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> "Look up. What happened to you was an act of sovereign mercy.
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> "Once you know that your crucifixion was from the hand of God, and only from Him, it changes your life forever. You end negotiations, protestations, justifications, and even stop referring to having been crucified. Forever.
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> "Never allow a crucifixion to be from men. Allow it only to be from God."
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> The book goes on, but I shan't...
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> It absolutely pierced me to read this book. I've been working through forgiveness for my own crucifixion, but I've been telling anyone who would listen, rehearsing the pain, living in the "victim swamp", keeping it fresh... making it almost my IDENTITY.
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> Not turning to God, facing that He, and He alone is behind it -- that He had specific purposes for that suffering - purposes that were for my GOOD. And in hanging on to the pain, the blame, the "how dare they's", I've not allowed God to work this toward my good -- which is a huge WASTE, not to mention an offense to Him.
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> I'm tired of being the victim, the "wounded one", the one who was so unjustly treated.
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> I want this to count, and not to turn me into a bitter, "look how bad I was treated" woman...
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> God help me see this from your perspective, and no longer my own...!I have always been able to make something beautiful come from the ashes of my life, and this time was no different.
My website: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com.....it has been a phenomenon and helped thousands to heal.
Perhaps that was the purpose in my "crucifixion"
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> Shalom, Dena
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> Love, Alice
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poster:allisonross
thread:577004
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051109/msgs/578017.html