Posted by All Done on October 26, 2005, at 16:57:03
In reply to Spork Bashing...All Done...et al, posted by kid47 on October 25, 2005, at 14:12:01
I should have figured you’d speak out in defense of the spork, Mr. Calculator/Watch/Fashion Accessory.
Have I ever considered the spork’s difficult existence? Of course, I have. But unlike you, I’ve seen and experienced the hurt, pain, and destruction the spork has caused on one too many occasions. So, until you walk to the nearest spork-providing KFC in my shoes, I suggest you ask yourself a few questions.
At what expense are we going to continue combining eating utensils? What about the plain old fork going unused in the drawer, feeling sad, lonely, and like a shell of a well…utensil. And the spoon will start to regret ever becoming a spoon in the first place. What’s it’s reason for existence? Ever felt like that? Yeah, not so great. The spoon is hurting, kid.
And pray tell. What’s next? Will we start combining everyday household appliances for no apparent reason? Can you imagine the time and money that will be spent on combining the steam iron and quesadilla maker? And for what? A bunch of soggy tortillas and cheese-riddled dress pants. Or maybe you think the blender and toilet should be combined? For obvious reasons, that should not be done.
Frankly, kid, I’m kind of hurt myself. You didn’t even bother to ask about my tragic experiences with the spork. The pain of a swollen tongue that only gets worse as I continue to accidentally bite on it, the anxiety over the decision to use the spork that’s been given to me or wastefully toss it in favor of a real utensil, the shock of putting what I believed to be a spoon in my mouth and instead finding near-deadly prongs (I still have nightmares), and the distraught over a failed marriage in my early twenties. (Umm, nevermind, don’t ask about that last one.)
I hope you and your PUDS get some satisfaction over harassing those of us making a simple choice to go with the reliable and environmentally friendly (don’t get me started) eating utensils.
I’m disappointed, kid. I really thought you had less time on your hands.
Catch ya later,
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:570687
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051021/msgs/572165.html