Posted by SLS on August 28, 2005, at 17:04:57 [reposted on August 29, 2005, at 17:58:51 | original URL]
In reply to Accutane., posted by utopizen on August 28, 2005, at 16:23:29
> I am not a mean person by encouraging someone to consider thinking of the present and not living in the past, especially given I am extremely sensitive to how terrible it feels to be depressed.
>
> If someone were to listen to me talk about how I thought Doctor X or Drug X caused my depression, I would not admire them for joining in to dwell on the subject with me. I'd like them to get my mind off it.
>
> Given I embarassed myself a lot of times doing just this, I wish more people were more open about how it's not healthy to obsess over the pathology of any illness. I admire the few people with the courage not to throw me their shoulder to cry on, and told me to get on with my life.
>
> It wasn't easy, and I didn't want to hear them anymore than anyone else dose, but that doesn't change the fact they're the only ones who truly helped me in the end.
I think it is sometimes important to be gentle on yourself and be merciful. I'm glad that you have been motivated to change your thinking in a way that you currently feel is healthy.To "get on with life" despite the presence of a debilitating illness often requires acceptance of that illness and the limitations it imposes. Depression is a very limiting disease. It is painful and unrelenting, and very difficult not to think about. I find that there is a certain amount of psychological mobility within the confines of depression, such that one can recognize that, although ill, they are not their illness. This allows for some positive energy to work with. Motivation and resources wax and wane with chronic severe depression, and it is unreasonable to assume that every day will be replete with identical levels of achievement. This is true of even the most healthy of individuals.
It is helpful to first identify what one needs from others. This is not always an easy thing to do. However, if one can be clear with themselves what they need, they can be clear with others what are their needs. In the absence of this clarity, all that others can offer is compassion, empathy, and a shoulder to cry on.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:548312
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050828/msgs/548313.html