Posted by alexandra_k on August 21, 2005, at 19:05:05
In reply to Re: Here you go » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on August 21, 2005, at 18:15:12
> That's so funny! I guess psych wards aren't all that different no matter where you are.
Yeah, not so different. Though I remember your story about the hospital gowns :-( The psych ward here is fairly much okay with you wearing your own clothes. Risk of SI is the exception - but there you get hospital pj's. The pants are okay. The gowns are big shapeless dresses - but at least you get bums in 'em.
> "Oh that's great that you're getting out for some fresh air, it will do you good"
> "Well it will do me good, but it's not exactly the air"
I tell them I just want to go for coffee and they are okay with that. In fact... I usually manage to convince the OT that coffee will do ALL of us good (while I'm not allowed out on my own at any rate). It's nice because there is a ward fund for something like that... And usually only about 5 want to go.
> Here's hoping. Disclosing f*cks me right up..
It went okay :-)
Deep sigh. Phew. Phew. I can't emphasise that enough. She just asked how my week was - and I said not so good. We actually talked about a lot of sh*t. A lot of sh*t. Most of the sh*t that had been worrying me. And... Unbelievably I don't really remember what she said... She's not so great at coming up with amazing things to say... But regardless, I felt a whole heap better.
The biggest worry I was having is that I didn't feel like I was attaching to her. My heart is cold :-(
She said maybe I do that when I get scaired.
And I do believe... She might be right.
And I felt a lot better.
So I guess that means I'm attached to her after all :-)
> I admire your attempt at trusting, I don't think I can do that anymore, or at least not with clinicians and not with men.
Thanks. Women are harder for me. A lot harder. I guess... I reckon that guys will leave. But women will HURT. Hmm. Little bits... Trust isn't all or none. Take a little risk... If it is well received then you can take those little risks more often, perhaps even working up to bigger risks.
Thanks for your Babblemail.
I'll have to respond later tonight or tomorrow.
But - I agree. Really, I do. I noticed that too.
I have to do some work now.
I have a deadline.
I know I can do it :-)
But I better go get started before my mood blows different