Posted by fallsfall on June 12, 2005, at 11:26:47
In reply to Admin threads making me hurt, posted by partlycloudy on June 12, 2005, at 7:02:34
I stopped reading Admin maybe a year ago. I realized that I really couldn't help the situation much. That my way of coping wasn't going to work for so many other people. That it was too frustrating to me that I *couldn't* help the situation.
And I've felt a lot better. I get the support I need (and give the support I need) on Psychological or Social. And I know that I can't save the rest of the world from all of its strife.
When I was in Chicago, I mentioned to Dr. Bob that I stopped reading Admin, but that I might try it again. His comment was interesting - he asked if I thought that being able to read admin was a sign that I was doing better. I said that I thought that it was. So I've been reading Admin. Not posting, but reading. I have a certain distance from it that I didn't have before. I can see that the issues being discussed aren't about the particular post that is being challenged - but about the question of consistency and fairness and how decisions are made and how can people know what the rules are. So I am able to step back from the details of the issues and sort of see a more "big picture" view. Now, if I keep reading for a while, and if I start posting about it, things may change a lot!!! I don't know - and I haven't decided what my goal is. I guess that the key might be to try to develop some empathy for those who confuse/annoy/anger you. There *IS* a reason that they post as they do. Can you see the possibility that they have valid concerns because of experiences from their past? Why do they have these concerns if you don't? Should they be moving towards the middle or should you? or both?
Or feel free to take a break from it. From experience, I can tell you that Babble is a full experience without Admin. If it isn't helping you, if it is hurting you, you don't have an obligation to stay involved. Someone else can take a turn.
poster:fallsfall
thread:511364
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050610/msgs/511442.html