Posted by alesta on May 17, 2005, at 15:53:25
every day i get gradually more and more depressed..last night i realized that i feel numb, overwhelmed, irritable, and unable to handle life's pressures (i felt all of that before, but to an overwhelming degree now). i told my mom yesterday that i need her to take me to GNC to get something for depression...she says "no, you don't need anything"..but she's taking an antidepressant herself!!! the woman does not have any empathy. she tells me i'm not depressed and i just need to do this or do that and i'll be fine. this seems really cruel to me, b/c she knows what depression feels like..has been on AD's for years...never without..yet i'm supposed to be fine w/out them? i now realize that getting something for depression needs to be my first priority. i think about suicide constantly.
my zest for life or any evidence of that is gone. my thinking processes..gone. desire to live also nil. i am not myself. i am just here..in this void. it is soooo hard to do *anything*. life feels so overwhelming. my mom complains that i'm not doing things..she doesn't comprehend why, even though i tell her. it's funny how i wait until i am totally bad off before i'll take anything for the depression. sorry...bummer post. i barely have the energy/wherewithal to write this post. thanks for listening. just needed to share that. i hesitate to write these kinds of posts..really don't want to bring anyone down. i don't want anyone in a bad state themselves to feel any obligation to reply, please. i just needed to get this out. thank you for reading..that's all i needed.:)..amy
poster:alesta
thread:499020
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050513/msgs/499020.html