Posted by NikkiT2 on May 15, 2005, at 8:38:59
In reply to Re: I just realized..., posted by Shy_Girl on May 14, 2005, at 22:17:52
Jenny..
Your symptoms, from here, really do scream BPD to me.. and I know how hard it is when you're in one frame of mind to remember how any other feeling feels. When I feel good, its terribly hard to imagine how bad the bad feels, and when I feel bad, its terribly hard to remember how the good feels.
You need to get the message across to *someone*, someone who is a professional how bad the bads are for you.
What I have always found useful is to write everything down, and take that with me. Not a uge long missive that will take an entire appointment for the doctor or whoever to read, but a bulleted list of points, including what I want.
So, an example for you could be to look back at your posts and do a list along the lines..
"On x date I bought a rope and threatened to hang myself"
"On x date I acted in y way"
And so on. Or even break it down into a day.. so at x time I was saying y, at a time I was saying b.. to show how quickly your moods are swinging.
BPD can be *terribly* difficult to live with, and it takes alot of hard work, including on your part, to star making life more bearable. I never, once, thought I would make it. But I have.. I now work full time in Mental Health, as well as doing voluntary work for a charity that helps support peopple with BPD and always works *very* hard to remove stigma and improve services.
There doesn't have to be a reason that you're suffering.. Theres no history in my life that could have caused this.. accepting this can be really tough, but for me was a hge part in helping me move forward.
You need to get some kind of therapy going.. Different types work for different people. CBT was what helped me hugely, but DBT is what has helped a very close friend most.. You also need help with medication. For me, SSRI's made me worse.. ALOT worse.. low dose anti psychotic helped me the most.. but this is something you *really* need to discuss with a professional.
Don;t think "I'll do it next time I'm ill" as you've shown thats not a good plan for you.. Get help NOW.. Start working on it tomorrow. Make it your plan for the week.Things CAN improve..
Nikki xx
poster:NikkiT2
thread:497587
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050513/msgs/497984.html