Posted by Toph on May 9, 2005, at 17:50:47
In reply to Re: I Love You » Toph, posted by Susan47 on May 9, 2005, at 13:04:57
> You are such a thoughtful man.
> Your dad was in your list twice, I have a theory about that. Hmm. Okay is it possible that you're seeing the link between your dad, yourself and your son, and you as being the one with the ability to change it, I mean, why would your dad come up twice, unless he's affected you and that's affecting your son now? 'Cause not all dads have trouble telling their sons they love them. No. And you sure don't seem like the type of man who would have trouble telling anybody you do love them, if you do. Why're you stopping yourself so much?Nailed me again susan. My father is a wonderful man, a great provider, with impeccable integrity. His idea of loving us was to work his *ss off so that we would have opportunities in life. He went to as many football, baseball games, swim meets, music concerts he could attend when he wasn't on the road working. But he never so much as put an arm around us, let alone hugged us or, God forbid, say that he loved us. I don't know if I inherited my bipolar from him but I did get a worse disease. He gave me Inhibited Displays of Affection Syndrome. I hug my clients more than my family. And yes, susan, my son is getting the disease from me too. I went to every one of his high school baseball games even if I had to sneek away from work. But I hate myself for all the opportunnities I lost to tell him I love him. I am better at it now. It is sick that I should not be able to easily tell someone who I would die for exactly how I feel. I'm afraid that it has something to do with doubts I have deep down that I am unworthy of being loved. I wish you could tell my dad and Matthew how much I love them for me, before it's too late.
poster:Toph
thread:495214
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050503/msgs/495672.html